Exercise, Palate Perils and Updates

I haven't started really celebrating my clean bill of health in earnest yet. I was treated to a lovely lunch and wonderful conversation that included a toast or two with some dear friends. That is one of my favorite ways of spending time, and I truly and deeply enjoyed it. There were even presents (I'll get into that later). But I haven't begun to go really nuts yet. I am making plans though...lots and lots of plans. I'm looking forward to traveling back east and to shooting one of the web series and even a feature. Then, there are all the cookbooks I'm working through. I had been reluctant to really make plans for so long. I had been afraid of setting myself up for disappointment. Now, I am thinking of absolutely everything I would like to do and see and accomplish. It's all so exciting that I just don't know where to begin.

Work That Body

For now and the immediate future, my primary job is getting back in shape and mitigating the sometimes considerable impact of the chemo side effects until they completely disappear (2 to 6 months). That seems to mean exercise. I've been doing some exercise since I recovered from the first surgery. The exercise then was in the form of leisurely walking for at best a half an hour. Now, the Docs are talking about more vigorous walking and some training with light weights. They want me to do something everyday, but that isn't working for me yet. I find I'm really tired and sometimes sore between bouts of exercise, so I've been doing something every other day.

On Friday, I was mall walking while Jon was having an interview nearby. Now, I know that proponents of mall walking suggest doing it early in the day when most of the stores are closed and the mall is almost empty. People in my way wasn't a problem during my laps around the place. It was all of the portable food that was making me nuts. There was a million milk shake stand and a Baskin Robins stand and a soft pretzel stand and a popcorn stand. Now, after the first surgery and certainly during chemo, I was encouraged to eat whatever I wanted and as much as I wanted. But that was when I had no appetite and was steadily losing weight. Neither of those is a problem right now. Thus, as much as I am pleased to be able to eat ice cream again, I must show some restraint. I'd like to keep the slimness I've had and perhaps even make it down to the weight my primary care Doc wanted me at before everything went haywire. Thus, I kept to one end of the gigantic mall where there was less temptation. I managed quite a few laps with a backpack of groceries on my back. It's a beginning. I plan to start walking along the beach and logging some actual miles soon. It's a year to go to the next LA Marathon. Who knows? Maybe I'll have a whack at walking it. Though if the weather then is as it is now, I'll be swimming it.

Perils of the Palate

There was a time when my taste in wine ran toward the sickly sweet. I can't remember the labels now. I think I blocked them from my brain in shame for ever putting those substances past my lips. At any rate, I was blissfully happy in my ignorance until I began working in New York City. In another life, in the 1980s, I worked on Park Avenue for an advertising firm. Yep, I had power suits, dresses, and I do believe pajamas that had those big should pads. My hair was really big as well. For my 20 something readers – look it up! Sorry, aging sometimes makes me cranky. Where was I? Right.

The company I worked for only had 8 employees and that included the Vice President of the division. So we had our Christmas party at a very fancy restaurant where the servers were there to pull your chair out or help you back every time you got up. It was the kind of meal that had a wine with each course. My first experience with port was at the end of that amazing meal. The wines during the meal were astonishing to me. I remember telling the VP that I really wished I didn't know what good wines were as I would never be the same again. I wasn't. My life got very expensive. The same thing happened when I worked for Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino as a bartender. I worked room service for the high rollers primarily. I also worked the last hour of bar service for one of the 5 star restaurants. Very often, high rollers would have expensive champagne opened only to send it back untouched to return to the tables. Since the bubbly couldn't be re-sold, it was returned to my bar. We were supposed to pour it down the drain, but my bar had no cameras on it, and I felt that was a terrible waste. Thus, I split it with the servers and the kitchen staff. We all developed quite a taste for champagne that ran $50 and up. Luckily, over the years, I have found wines and champagnes that are very reasonable and quite tasty (I found even more in France – another reason to love that country).

However, I always look at an expansion of my palate as potentially dangerous to my wallet. There was a scare with the aged balsamic, but I have found an excellent vendor that is very reasonable (F. Oliver's Oil and Vinegars) and it lasts for a long time. The latest palate peril this week were presents. One was real French Macarons and the other was real Foie Gras. [Before anyone writes to me about the cruelty involved in making this please see the following video of Anthony Bourdain on Foie Gras. If you have issues with people eating meat period, please do not write me. I just spent 18 months being told that I not only needed meat to right various deficiencies, it was strongly suggested that organ meats be included. And until there is meatless bacon, I am not changing my eating habits.] Both gifts were delicately delicious and really difficult to accurately describe. It won't be easy not to consume them as if I was a vacuum. I want to savor them for as long as I can before looking about to see how much they cost to buy here. Merci pour les cadeaux, ma cher!

Updates

Let start with the novels. I re-read what I've written, decided I hated everything and wanted very much to delete the files. But that was on Monday when I didn't know what my Doctor would tell me. I was a bit cranky and terrified about everything that day. By the second dirty vodka martini (a splash of olive brine is added with the vermouth and 3 olives for me), I had changed my mind. By Wednesday, I was back to producing a couple of pages per day on each book. I'm going to take a week off working on them though to finish the horror script.

The horror script which Jon and I are looking at as more of a comedy than a horror script is coming along. The treatment was approved late last week and I'm more than a third of the way through. We have the leads cast. I won't make announcements until we have signatures and shooting dates. I can tell you that it's a fun cast and that helps with the writing. I expect to turn in the first draft by the end of the week. But first I have to find a name for a demon that has lots of tentacles. And I have to figure out numerous humorous ways of killing people. My life is very strange.

The Demon Under Glass web series is coming along in development as well. I've found three locations and the period costumes for the Victorian era. I'm still looking for 1990s era suits. I plan to solve that problem sometime this week then meet with my FX Diva about some other issues. By next Sunday, I believe I will have a shooting date for the web series.

All of this activity does not mean that I'm ready to run around wearing many hats as I once did. Most of my work has been online or on the phone. I can't see myself doing much more on a shoot than yelling at people from a chair where I'll be planted with my feet propped up. As many have told me this week, I've had some great news, but I still have a ways to go before I'm back to my regular levels of activity. So, no worries, I'm behaving.

Stay tuned.

Big News and What's Cooking

For those who haven't heard, I am deliriously happy to report that I am officially a cancer survivor! Many thanks for all of the kind thoughts, notes, prayers, Tastykakes, soft pretzels and rain dances. I still have issues to work through, but the major goal has been achieved.

Today, I am cooking very divergent dishes – Corned Beef and Cabbage and Falafel with Hummus. As it is St. Patrick's day and my late mother's Feast Day , I am making corned beef and cabbage. I had considered making an Irish dish like lamb stew or Colcannon, but the Irish-American corned beef and cabbage has a special place in my culinary history. It was, in fact, the first full meal I ever cooked for my family. I was still in high school (shout out to my peeps from Cardinal Dougherty), but that meal was the beginning of my taking over cooking Sunday dinner for the family. Incidentally, my high school alma mater is the reason I can do the Irish Jig. But I digress. The Falafel and Hummus I'm making from scratch using dried chick peas. I saw the recipes for these on Alton Brown's Good Eats. I really love both Falafel and Hummus on their own, but I really enjoy them in a pita sandwich or on a platter with a little Greek salad. I'm even going to make my own Tzatziki sauce. That is a lot easier to do than it used to be, because Greek yogurt is everywhere now. But those dishes are actually for tomorrow as I go meatless on Fridays during Lent. Today, it's all about the corned beef!

Meanwhile, while everything is simmering in the slow cookers, I'm looking up names of demons. I'll explain more about that on Sunday's blog.

Stay tuned.

Pulled Pork, Crazy Cable News and Facing the Future

As of 11pm Saturday night, the apartment was filled with warmth and the scent of pork shoulder seasoned with Herbs de Provence roasting in the oven filled the air. It is bound for a pulled pork application in Sunday's dinner. I am having a glass of red wine while struggling through a film treatment. More on that later.

24 hour News Idiocy

According to the eleven o'clock local news on Saturday night, the tsunami warning has been lifted on the west coast. Those warnings, what they mean and how the national media covers them became both extremely important and profoundly irritating since the wee small hours of Friday morning. As I have written in a blog of yore, Jon and I live at the edge of a tsunami zone. According to the map we got in a disaster prevention brochure, if we crossed the street, we would be out of the tsunami zone. The brochure implied that there was some magical barrier running between one side of Culver Blvd and the other. Humans could cross, but water and mud could not. That edition of the disaster brochure was very specific in detailing the government response to a tsunami. [Incidentally, this year's edition of disaster brochure covered killer bees, fire ants and deadly mosquitoes. I am not kidding.]

Where was I? Oh, yes. There would be an Emergency Broadcast System (EBS) tsunami warning to the area in general. Those within a mile or so of the ocean would hear the horn sound. I've actually seen two such EBS warnings of tsunami on TV. Each time, friends who lived nearby would call to ask if I, too, saw the warning and if we were evacuating. One friend lived in the Venice canals. I told him that he was likely boned, because he'd never get out of the bottleneck in time. The other lives up a 200 foot cliff in the Palisades. If a tsunami could hit him, we were all done. In neither case did we hear the horn sound. But we know that the EBS does work.

Thus, at 2:30 am when CNN and other cable outlets announced that the west coast of the US was included in the Tsunami warning in the wake of the earthquake in Japan, I wasn't that concerned. We'd know if it was a real problem if the EBS warning came up. But the anchors were whipped up into a frenzy about the waves hitting California that I wondered if they knew something local authorities didn't. Still, no warning came up and the local outlets didn't start their morning coverage early. I began to worry about my relatives seeing the broadcasts. Craig's girlfriend's mother called their place at 3am in hysterics. According to Google maps, they were right next to the ocean and the news was saying it could hit Southern California. She tried to explain to her mother that they were 200 feet above sea level, but the poor woman was about to have a fit. There was no call from back East at our place nor had EBS sounded a warning by 8:30 am when the first wave was to hit. Some beaches and piers were closed mainly to keep idiots from going into the water or getting too far out over it. Even if a big wave didn't come, the currents were unpredictable and a rogue wave was possible. None of the local news outlets ever seemed to think we were in any kind of danger. You'd never know that by the coverage on cable. I called my father just ahead of him calling me. He was getting worried because of the continuing coverage of worst case scenarios. That really ticked me off.

I have drifted from watching cable news coverage of anything but emergencies because of how bad it has become. Maybe it's all the airtime that they have to fill that makes them sound like idiots trying to make more of a story than is necessary. The earthquake was a horrific tragedy on it's own without trying to make the US part of the peril as well. Between the hysteria and the really stupid statements during broadcasts, I think I'd be better off getting my news from Twitter.

The Next Phase

On Tuesday, I find out if I am truly clear of tumors and free to call myself a cancer survivor. I spent a lot of last week giving blood and getting various parts of my body scanned in advance of the appointment. Naturally, I've been worrying myself what ifs. I've actually managed to worry about what would happen if I get the all clear. How on earth would that be a problem? What can I say? I am an expert on worrying. The key is pressing forward despite being wigged out most of the time. Thus, while worrying, I've been making sure to get the exercise suggested to blunt the side effects from Chemo. And I've been eating a diet to correct the deficiencies in my blood. And I am researching the possible day jobs I may take along with the shoots I want to accomplish. I've always thrived on planning and making lists. Such activities naturally force one to focus on the future. And I have a whole lot of lists involving spending time in France. Yes, I am a worry wart, but I have a whole lot of things I plan on doing.

Updates

None for this week. There is a lot going on with the various film projects. And I have some interesting reflections on problems the novels have brought up. And then there is the morning Jon and I spent with Craig en route to hospital tests and dealing with potential tsunamis. It seems that Ray Liotta is the least of his problems with celebrities.

Stay tuned.

Craig, Mardi Gras, Horror and Armani

Craig came by this morning. He had donuts and a script. The treats were part of a bribe to edit the script. I was afraid of peeking at it right away. The visit was a happening in and of itself. There were no sightings of the Liotta last week. Craig was mostly housebound working on the re-write of the script. Despite the lack of Liotta tales, as it always is with Craig, I was laughing my head off within moments of his arrival and kept laughing until he left. I think the frivolity threw off the rest of my day. I had to get ingredients for Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday dishes. I'd already made three kinds of stock for these dishes and knew what I wanted to make. Still, it took me a couple a couple hours to focus and figure out what I wanted to do. I'd missed the Farmer's Market again due to the late hour of waking and our visitor. But I still wanted to get in a longish walk to keep up with the exercise therapy. By noon, I figured out where I wanted to go, and what I wanted to get done aside from grocery shopping. But more on that later in the blog.

All You Need to Do

Jon and I have been told on many more than one occasion that all we need to do to kick start our careers is to write a cheap horror movie like the firs Saw or Paranormal Activity . The latter is most often suggested because of how little it cost to shoot. There is a 'how hard can it be?' question that usually goes along with the suggestion. First, Paranormal Activity cost very little in cash, but the filmmaker was already in the Industry and had a whole lot of resources available to him for free or on a deferred basis that we wouldn't have. Second, it isn't easy – at least not for us – to write a slasher film. Neither of us are into or can even tolerate torture porn. It is very, very difficult to write a script in a genre that you truly do not like or respect. Craig agreed adding that it's even hard to crib from other movies and graft something together from the parts. He apparently tried that once and ended up repeatedly shouting 'but that is stupid' at the TV screen and his computer monitor.

So what happens? We get asked to write a horror movie. What can I say? We're in LA and these sorts of things happen. We like and respect the people who asked and if their plan succeeds, it could mean a lot for our careers. But how do we do that after the diatribe above? Well, fortunately the venue this film would be aimed at does allow for a bit of humor around the edges. Sometimes, I've even noticed a bit of wrongness in their films. Jon and I really enjoy injecting wrongness into our work. And we can't help the humor. So, as far as we're concerned, we're writing a comedy with moments of terror and some gore. We really loved the film Hot Fuzz for this sort of mix. That film was one of the most violent films I've ever seen and I couldn't stop laughing. I don't know if we'd get away with that much humor, but there is funny stuff in this script. Even Craig approved before calling us twisted. A high compliment, indeed.

Yes, I know, we made a vampire film (Demon Under Glass). How is that not horror? Well, as far as we're concerned, we made a film noir with a vampire in it. Joe was the poor doomed schlub dragged into a situation that was way over his head, and Simon was the tall, hot blond who dragged him into the situation. Except that he wasn't blond and he was a guy and a vampire.

Other Updates

One of the things that delayed the blog was a trip to the nearby costume house. It's open on Sunday now. So, we were continuing our research for the Demon Under Glass web series by checking out Victorian frock coats and vests. I also took the opportunity to look at head pieces for Vegas Showgirls. That has nothing to do with the web series. It's going to be part of this year's month of fun. Best that's all you know. I think we found a range of acceptable coats and possibly some vests, but we have to make sure that the cut is from the right part of the Victorian era. Yes, that's Jon talking. I would actually smack the person nitpicking about the era of a frock coat if we successfully pull off that flashback scene. I've found that I can get the pants and shirt for the ensemble on ebay. Strangely, dressing the females in the scene is easier. There are a lot more options for rentals or purchase for females somehow. Now, I have to figure out where to find a vintage Versace or Armani suit (circa 1995) that doesn't cost $3000. Yep, I said $3000. I don't think suits, unless they are coated in 24 carat gold, appreciate over twenty years. So I have no idea why I'm running into those prices. But I've solved the Victorian version. I'll find that suit before too long.

Speaking of finding elusive things, I found a location for the bookstore. I'm fairly sure that I'll be able to secure the bar this week. I have a couple of leads on apartments that we'd have to see before making a decision.

The novels are moving along nicely. I manage to work on one or the other of them every day. I'd say that I'm nearing the halfway mark on both. In my head, I have a date for when I'll get them to my reader for editing. But, for now, I'm focusing on forward momentum.

Stay tuned.

Blog Delay

The blog will be delayed until late tonight or tomorrow. No worries. We're just up to some things that are diverting my attention.

Stay tuned.

Deb vs Cooking, Craig vs Liotta and Updates

The doppler says we're having gropple. No, I'm not speaking in code. That's what the weather folk are saying this weekend. It's really cold for Southern California (temps in the 30s within the city limits). There has been snow and hail and the gropple (soft hail pellets). We were shocked that there wasn't a 1000 car pile up on the 405 on the rumors of snow. LA drivers don't do well with precipitation. On Friday, the rain was cold and steady. For some reason that messed up the bus schedule. In Philly, buses run in the snow. But because Jon and I were tramping about on foot in the rain, we chanced to see an old gent practicing with a lasso. I was thus inspired to create a Haiku. Ahem.

Codger with lasso
Practicing in pouring rain
LA in winter

Alas, I've been paying for all that running around in the cold rain. I think every one of my joints still hurts. Fortunately, we didn't need to do any running around Saturday. And the forecast for Sunday is clear of rain or snow. All that remains is the cold or relative cold. I'll likely stay in until tomorrow.

Deb vs Madeleines Part Two – The Reckoning

I was thinking of calling the sequel The Bakening, but aside from bakening not being a real word, it sounded too close to bacon. Goodness knows, I really enjoy most things involving bacon, but it really doesn't have anything to do with Madeleines. I figured out what I did wrong in the first recipe. The fault was in the instructions. The eggs and sugar have to be beaten until the mixture is as fluffy as a mousse before the dry ingredients are added. I did not get that from the first recipe I looked at. I could tell the difference in the batter as soon as I spooned it into the pan. It was all way more exciting than it should have been, but I felt quite victorious! Now, I feel that I can move on to more difficult baking recipes. The croissants await!

Recipe Math

So, I was watching my cooking shows last week and got inspired to do some serious meat cooking to refill the freezer. Now, most of the recipes from the shows are geared for the home cook in that their proportions aren't geared toward feeding a battalion of soldiers. So, when I see this really tasty looking meatloaf recipe on the Barefoot Contessa , I decide to give it a try. Jon had mentioned that he'd like to try a meatloaf that wasn't so dependent on ketchup or a tomato sauce. This one had a lot of herbs and aromatics and seemed to keep moist without the ketchup. It was Ina Garten's favorite dish from a local restaurant in the Hamptons , and I noticed that the chef/owner of said restaurant was actually making the dish. Still, I didn't put it together until I had formed the meatloaf on the pan that the recipe was enough for a dinner service at an eatery. Boy, are we good for meatloaf for a while. It was very fortunate that it was, indeed, a very good recipe. Next time though, I'll carefully check the math.

Craig vs Ray Liotta

I got a call from Craig last week with some strange instructions. He said that if anything happened to him, it was Ray Liotta who was behind it and that we should avenge him. My last image of Ray Liotta in person was at our local movie theater. He was with a little

girl wearing a tutu trying to convince the concessions clerk that he wanted nachos without the cheese. It seemed that was how the little girl preferred them. Since he wasn't menacing during what seemed to be a stressful situation (the film was to start very soon), I found it hard to imagine him stalking Craig with ominous intent. So when I stopped laughing, I asked Craig why he thought this was happening. He said he was seeing far too much of the Liotta for it to me an innocent coincidence. Mind, the man does live in the same neighborhood as Craig. But that was cutting no ice with my intensely whacky friend. The final straw came during a contemplative walk through a nearby college campus. Craig was pondering on the fact that he was seeing far too much of the Liotta (his terminology) as he reached the edge of the campus and entered the shopping district. Just then, the Liotta came out of a sun glass store. And this time he chin waived at Craig – a New Jersey acknowledgment that you have indeed seen a lot of each other (both hail from New Jersey). I tried to calm him by explaining that they live in a small enclave that's sort of cut off from the rest of LA. And since both men are between engagements, it's just likely that their paths coincide while running errands. Still, we have our instructions. Thus, Jon and I must be ready to spring into vengeance mode should the need arise. Jon blames me for answering the phone. I found I couldn't watch Goodfellas this week because I was laughing too hard.

Updates

Book wise, I've been making steady progress with both novels. I've been doing two to three pages on each on alternating days. I can't complain about that. However, I'm not going to jinx myself by predicting when they'll be finished especially now that I'm adding pain in my fingers to the other joint pain I've been having.

Film wise, I've been working on a script that I hadn't expected to be writing. It's an entirely new project that I can't really talk about yet. I'm on my own with it for a while as Jon is editing some things that he needs to clear off his slate. I've also been gathering assets (locations, equipment, crew) for the Demon Under Glass Web series. That primarily involves e-mail and phone calls right now. I'm not quite up to running around the county to look at things. Depending on our involvement, which I suspect will be deeply involved, this new film could delay the web series further. We would be working with the actors, but not on what we expected to be shooting. But like finding a codger throwing a lasso in a rainstorm or preparing to exact vengeance on the Liotta, being in Los Angeles means accepting the unexpected.

Stay tuned.

Down Time and Finding Normal

The house smells of onions and garlic and balsamic vinegar roasting away with a lovely piece of beef brisket in the oven. It's delightful. Mind, I am hours behind schedule getting anything in the oven as we had nothing in the fridge or pantry for Sunday dinner until a couple of hours ago. I've been thrown completely off schedule because of the colds we both had last week. In fact, the roast in the oven has been about the only thing I've accomplished over seven days. Something that smells that yummy deserves buttery mashed potatoes and a hardy veggie. It's so good to be consuming something more than soup. Even if it is good soup – and it was – there's nothing like a good, savory solid meal.

Good, Bad and Really Ugly

The good news about the terrible cold I caught from Jon last week is that my blood counts must be normal. I never spiked a fever, and I was over it pretty much by the end of the week. It was the first cold I've had since November of 2009 before the whole ordeal began. Colds are one of the bogeymen to avoid during chemo. They can delay treatment. Or worse, they can cause a fever which leads to a hospital stay. And the last words from all the various Docs that I see was to avoid getting sick. Those who know the Hubs and I realize that to completely avoid getting sick may involve having Jon live in a small box outside of the apartment. You see, Jon is usually a cold magnet. And as our apartment is very tiny, it is very difficult to avoid each other and surfaces that we may have touched. It's quite amazing that he hadn't had one during this time. Perhaps he knew about my plans for him and that small box.

The bad news about the terrible cold I had last week was other than a perfectly delicious pot of chicken soup, I accomplished nothing. My head was full of wet cotton. I couldn't breath through my nose. Most of the time, I couldn't read. Writing dwindled down to a paragraph or two per day. I didn't even want to talk on the phone. Needless to say, not much was happening other than laying about watching TV or, more often, having the TV watch me sleep. On top of feeling generally miserable and paranoid that I would end up back in an ER, I somehow became convinced that the cold would somehow stop the chemo side effects from going away. It's like the cold somehow pushed a pause button on my recovery. Yes, I know that makes no sense. I'm a creative person, and as such, I'm more than a little touched in the head. Being reduced to a lump on the sofa also gives such a mind far too much time to think strange things. Happily, I'm feeling better now. Breathing is more or less back to normal, and my head doesn't feel like it's full of wet cotton. I actually did a bit of walking for exercise on Saturday.

Degrees of Normal

I get asked how I'm doing a lot, and my replies have been vague. I don't like to list in detail what's going on with me, because it sounds like complaining. I'd never complaining about my current lot, because it could be quite have been a good deal worse. However, I'm quite a ways from being free of chemo side effects. I can't say that I'm close to normal. Apparently, what normal will end up being is anyone's guess right now. I may end up feeling the same as I was before I got sick. I may feel better than I did then. Or I may have a whole new definition of what normal is. It will be several weeks before anything is clear. As for right now, both of my feet are numb. How much of the foot is numb varies day to day. It seems that more and more of the foot is not numb during the day. Why it changes from night to day is a mystery to me. This doesn't keep me from walking though I can't do too much running around. It's mainly weird. My hands have pins and needles sometimes, but not the numbness that's in my feet. I've also got pain in my joints that can get quite intense. Strangely, exercise helps that, so I have to walk and lift things each day. These side effects should fade over time. I'm largely free of nausea though there are still times when my appetite is off or my digestive system is in an uproar. However, I'm managing the side effects well enough to get around with errands and my appointments. I can write and I can cook and I can do some planning for the various projects, so I am content to ride these things out. I still feel that I've been extremely fortunate.

Updates

There aren't many, because I didn't do much last week. We had a production meeting today about an upcoming project. And I made some inquiries about locations for the Demon Under Glass web series. More phone calls on that are up for this week. And it looks like Jon and I have a new script to write.

Next week: The crazies in my life, script writing drama and more updates.

Stay tuned.

Glamour and Green Thumbs

Craig called and asked what my favorite color is. Now, I'm afraid. I keep thinking that he's going to show up in some big purple bird costume and do a dance to cheer me up. He's been on a bird bender lately. It seems that his lady set up several hummingbird feeders in their postage stamp of a yard. He speaks a great deal of being strafed on his way to the dumpster. Yet, I don't put it past him to show up as a big purple hummingbird. I can't say that that wouldn't make me laugh. I don't know if the neighbors would speak to us again, but I certainly would laugh.

The Glamorous Life?

There are many who believe that the Hubs and I live a typical LA lifestyle – lots of excitement, fun and sun by the pool or on the beach, exciting friends, exciting places like clubs or restaurants. So, when people come to visit, we feel compelled – rightly or wrongly – to show visitors an exciting time. That is a bit difficult for us as we actually don't go out much normally. And when we do, it's to very unglamorous places like a diner (the most excellent 50's Cafe in Venice) or a hot dog stand (the most excellent Costco hot dog stand). Sometimes, we really cut loose and talk shop with crew guys we know over coffee or -- sometimes -- a beer! And that was before I began the ordeal with my illness. We're really homebodies lately. I basically go to appointments and to some sort of market. Luckily, there is a pleasant neighborhood to walk about. I'm content with my current lot in life. But when visitors come calling, there is always the question of how to keep them entertained. Because along with being homebodies, Jon and I are complete geeks. What we may be interested in – like a trip out to Vasquez Rocks or all the places Starsky and Hutch filmed in Venice – doesn't appeal to many people.

Thus, when my brother came to town last week, Jon and I puzzled mightily over how to entertain him for four days. The Star tours of celebrity homes aren't very exciting. The maps are largely inaccurate and most of those homes in Beverly Hills and Bel Aire are surrounded by tall walls or hedges. I was fairly certain that he wouldn't be interested in the murder tour. And then there is the Gang tour that takes folks into gang territories for photo ops. That struck me as pushing one's luck. And being the children of a cop, we found that kind of tour more than a little foolish. Luckily, aside from the espionage mission he was completing for my father (making sure I'm actually on the mend as I claim), my brother was far more interested in enjoying the warm weather than visiting all the tourist spots. Specifically, he was enjoying calling people back East from the Santa Monica pier and telling them what temperature it was. Ah, simple pleasures. So, when he said he was up for anywhere I wanted to go, I dragged him to my favorite kitchen supply store, Surfas. I've been wanting to take a look at their professional pots and pans – which I did. Meanwhile, my brother became obsessed with quail eggs. I had a great time there, because I discovered that they had vastly increased the cooking products sections. Many things I might have ordered online like duck fat or duck confit are in stock there. They also carry a great selection of spices and other things. So, I had a blast. I think he did, too. I do know that the espionage mission was a success.

Pale Green Thumb

My herb garden is going through some growing pains. The Italian oregano bit the dust this week. It had been thriving, but then it all just dried up and died. I wrote the vendor who sold me them in the hopes of saving the Italian parsley and found that the plants may not be getting enough sun in the living room window. It's not making a valiant effort at rebounding in the bedroom window which gets a lot of direct sunlight. The blue basil and the Thyme are thriving, so far. Alas, the chive and dill plants I got for Christmas are looking limp; I'm hoping that it's just a matter of changing the pots, but I don't know. Any suggestions out there?

The Super Bowl menu went over very nicely. I even had some leftovers to enjoy into the week. I haven't done much interesting cooking because of running around with my brother. I have plans to take on the elusive madeleine. I'm not sure why my first attempt failed in such a spectacular fashion, but I'm going to find out. How can I conquer puff pastry if I can't conquer a cookie?

Updates

No writing or filmmaking updates this week due to my visitor. Then, after he left Jon caught a very bad cold. I now have it. Depending on where my blood counts are, a cold could become quite problematic. So, I'm taking it very easy for the next few days.

Stay tuned.

Super Spread, Wiley Relatives and Updates

I hadn't planned on making a big spread for the Super Bowl. It's just Jon and me this year, and he's not all that big on nachos or Buffalo wings. Besides, I went a bit batty cooking for the Chinese New Year – more on that later. But then suddenly, it wasn't just Jon and me. My brother is coming to town and I suspect there is a plot afoot. I believe my brother and father are in cahoots in this trip. Since my last hospitalization, there have been a lot more calls from back east. My suspicion is that they want to see for themselves that I am as I've claimed to be. I am. Believe me, if I'm having more problems than usual, I am not quiet about it. Ask poor Jon. I've been half expecting to find my father on my door step. He's a wiley gentleman with a whole lot of frequent flyer miles. He's been known to turn up in cities other than Philly without any notice at all. This time though, my brother is making the trip. I think he wanted to get away from the snow more. At any rate, we're having company for the game. Keith offered to take us out to dinner, but I figure most places we'd like will be crowded and noisy because of the game.

Thus, I'm putting on a little bit of a Super Bowl spread. I don't mind actually. It will be nice to see my brother. And I've had a craving for baby back ribs lately. I didn't want to look like a glutton by consuming a whole rack of ribs. And there are the wings to consider. That would mean that there should be a little potato salad. You see, I need company or I'd gain 40 pounds in a weekend. And for those who may be concerned, my daily diet is very healthy and almost completely made from scratch. I'm still on those dreadful low white count restrictions, but otherwise my food intake is fiber, iron and potassium rich. So, this is a once in a while treat. By the way, I'm not rooting for a particular team. I'm just hoping for a really good game and really fun commercials.

The menu will be oven roasted baby back ribs, chicken wings (some Buffalo some not), corn and some sort of dessert. I've made the potato salad already. The wings are marinating in white wine, soy sauce, garlic and fresh thyme. I won't have very much to do before the game. This spread will be far easier than the one for the Chinese New Year. The dumplings took me two days. And there was a whole lot of slicing and chopping to do in advance of stir frying the chicken fired rice and cooking the pork lo mein. I only have one photo of the lo mein, and I'm not happy with that. The dumplings looked great before I cooked them, but they got mangled in the cooking process. The fried rice stuck to the bottom of the first pan I used. Sigh. Strangely enough, everything tasted really good. It was all just a little too sad to be photographed. And my fortune cookie said 'you will be happy with your spouse.' Uncanny! Jon is a rabbit in Chinese astrology. I'm hoping that this will be a great year for him and all the wascally rabbits I know.

Spice of Life

I finally made it to my local Penzey's Spice store. I needed dried herbs and such for making soups. We took the long way home after my latest trip to the Doctor's office. I finally bought some saffron. I've been wanting to for the longest time as I make a lot of rice dishes and always wondered about the depth of flavor that saffron could bring. I now have to figure out exactly what I want to make with the stuff. There may be a version of Paella that I can get past Jon. Or I may just be jazzing up the regular rice side dish. I'll let you know. In other spice news, I have come to a conclusion about specialty salts. As you may or may not recall, I was gifted a set of them (gray salt, pink salt and Fleur de Sel flakes) for Christmas. I had wondered if I could really tell the difference using them versus my usual salts in cooking. Well, I did notice a difference. What's even more interesting is that Jon noticed as well. He especially appreciated the Fleur de Sel for the taste and texture it brought to food. He noticed so much that he made sure that I noticed that Penzey's carried them. Thus, I can easily replace them when I run out. This is big as my Hubs doesn't have the gourmet palate.

Updates

I finally posted an excerpt from A Soldier's Destiny on the blog. I even figured out why it's taken me so long. The pages are coming along at a better pace. This makes me happy. On the film front, this week has been a journey through big and small ventures mostly via phone and internet conferences. On the big side, we were contacted by a major distributor about our films. We're following up on that with great enthusiasm. On the small side, we were working on ways of bringing some of our content to the small screen through web series. We made a lot of progress there.

Stay tuned.

Book Excerpt -- A Soldier's Destiny

I admit that I have been more than tardy in posting a new excerpt. Some of that has been my lack of energy from chemo. But that's been only part of the reason. I've been having trouble writing love scenes for this book. I've got lots of mayhem going on. There are two major fight scenes in the first fifty pages. I'm not having any problems spinning an intricate, suspenseful yarn. But the love scenes were not coming (no pun intended) as easily as the fighting. And then my hubs weighed in on the topic. He pointed out that my love scenes, like my fighting scenes or any other scene have to have something to do with character exposition. I know that two healthy, young men don't have to have much of a reason to have sex, but despite opinions from some quarters, I'm not writing porn. I want the love scenes to be both hot and meaningful.

It took a lot of puzzling with a puzzler that isn't working at full tilt, but I finally figured out what the characters as a couple are working against in this book. Rik and Vincent have to fight to have time together. Their jobs and the needs of their extended family threaten to sap every second out of every day. Thus, every love scene in the book is precious to the characters. Sometimes, things don't go smoothly. Once I figured that out, the scenes came (get your mind out of the gutter) more easily. In this excerpt, the pair has been through a hellacious evening only to have an unexpected visitor.

Warning! Minor spoilers for A Soldier's Destiny; explicit homoerotic content.

EXCERPT

Dinner was my favorite pot roast and potatoes. Then, my plan was to have Vincent for dessert. The adrenaline from the fight still coursed through our veins. The energy crackled between us, demanding release. That night, I planned to show my Love who was in charge. I pinned him easily on the sofa, because he wasn't quite expecting it. As I slanted my mouth across his, my hands were in his hair, freeing it from its ties. We were making out on the sofa when the alarm sounded once again. I groaned against Vincent's mouth. I had kissed him to the point where I felt him yielding. I really didn't want to stop.

“Tell me this is a false alarm,” I said into the intercom. It didn't matter how I sounded. Vincent was still clinging to me.

“I wish the hell it was,” Heisler muttered. “Go to Camera 2.”

Vincent punched up the feed to our TV. There, sitting in the waiting area reading a newspaper was Simon Molinar. My lover huffed impatiently as I rolled off him.

“He said that he believes he has an appointment with you two,” Heisler continued. “What do we do? The guards were moved to safety without incident.”

“We'll bring him to Auerbach,” I said. “I don't think he'll be a problem. But send Maximilian down as well.”

“Will do.”

“At least he waited until after dinner,” I sighed.

“Let's put the fucker in a box, so I can fuck you,” Vincent muttered.

“Yes, dear,” I smirked.

Molinar was still reading the paper when we ambled up to him. It was incredible to realize how old he must be. For all appearances, he looked younger than me. Only his eyes belied his nearly angelic face. There was so much going on in those deeply calm, gray-green eyes, I could never begin to read them.

“Simon Molinar?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied smoothly. “Thank you for seeing me. Are you remodeling?”

I looked at the bullet damage and other wreckage wryly.

“No. Why do you ask?”

“No reason, I suppose,” He replied. He was amused. “How do we proceed?”

“Follow us,” I said as Maximilian fell in alongside us.

“I remember you from news reports on that terrible incident at the border,” Molinar said to Maximilian. “You are an impressive specimen. Are you unique in your family?”

Maximilian looked at me quizzically.

“You can answer him, “ I said.

“I come from a long line of magnificently built Altereds,” he said with his usual pride.

“Fascinating,” Molinar murmured. I sensed pride in the Vampire. That hadn't occurred to me. “Where are we off to? Will I meet everyone now?”

“Not tonight,” I said. “The Benefactors aren't here and the medical team has its hands full just now. We are going to show you to your quarters. Tomorrow, you'll meet everyone.”

“What sort of quarters?”

“Quite comfortable, I promise,” I replied.

“I don't suppose there is a choice now,” Molinar murmured. “I'm seeing some very nasty Delphi night suns deployed about.”

“For the protection of the staff and installed under duress,” I admitted with surprising ease. “We knew that you are not a threat to us. We can't wait to find out what you want us to know.”

That admission placated and relaxed the Vampire. We walked in a comfortable silence to the Medical Wing for a brief moment.

“There is an energy about that nearly crackles along my skin,” Molinar remarked. “Is that something you keep going in the building for your powers?”

“We have ways of boosting our energy for defense that is part of the building,” I replied. “But they are not active right now.”

“That's just us,” Vincent said. “After releasing a lot of energy, we sometimes have residual output. No one else has ever felt it from us.”

“Not even I have,” Maximilian said with wonder.

“It's strong enough that I feel as though I've topped off,” the Vampire said thoughtfully.

Thankfully, we had arrived. I had been through too much to think about the implications of Molinar's observations. I knew that Vincent couldn't handle it just then. Besides, there were ways we had to dissipate that energy that I knew my lover was very anxious to resume. We showed Molinar to an Altered suite. There was a living area with a kitchenette and a huge entertainment center. The bedroom had a large bed, a lounge chair and another TV. Auerbach arrived on our heels. He seemed stunned to be meeting the Vampire in this manner.

“Remind me never to bet against you,” he said to me before extending a hand to Molinar. “Hello, Mr. Molinar. My name is Dr. Felix Auerbach. Thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for the welcome. And call me Simon.”

“Simon, we are terribly busy tonight. An emergency that must be attended to,” Auerbach said. “We would like to have you meet us tomorrow with the rest of the Benefactors when we can give you our full attention.”

“I appreciate your taking me in like this,” he said. “You are quite insightful to my situation.”

“That would be your progeny,” Auerbach said. “They seemed to know that you needed them.”

“Yeah, gramps,” Vincent said. “Make yourself at home. We'll catch you in the morning.”

Molinar was taken aback by my cheeky lover. Still, he smiled appreciatively.

“And don't worry, actual sunlight is only in one place in the facility, so you won't necessarily be restricted here,” I said. “But that will depend on you.”

“I shall be quite fine, gentlemen. Don't let me keep you further,” he said.

“There is an overnight kit with clothing and toiletries,” Auerbach said. “Give a shout if you need anything.”

“Thank you. Goodnight.”

Auerbach was silent for a while as we walked him back to his nerve center, so I spoke up.

“Doc, he'll keep until tomorrow. You have a full plate,” I said emphatically. “In fact, if Wolverine squad is stable, you should be eating then hitting the rack.”

“Yes, Doctor,” he quipped.

“We're serious, Doc,” Vincent said. “We count on you to hold us together. You can't burn out in one night with all this shit happening.”

That was far from eloquent, but it made the point.

“That's why I didn't stay to chat with him,” Auerbach assured us. “I plan to give the staff their marching orders, have a stiff belt and get some sleep. I promise.”

“Okay then. Goodnight, Doc. Goodnight, Maximilian,” I said. “We'll convene over breakfast tomorrow.”

I waited until we got back to the apartment before contacting Heisler again.

“Mark, no one is to go near Molinar tonight. That includes Auerbach unless there is an actual emergency,” I said. “And notify us first in that event.”

“Will do.”

Vincent looked concerned. “Do you think he'll try to talk to Molinar on his own?”

“Unlikely while he's dealing with Wolverine squad. I'm just being cautious,” I replied. “Our Doc is as earnest and curious as that Doctor Bassett. But I don't want to lose ours. This time, we'll look after him....Now, where were we? Oh, yes...”

I snatched Vincent against me and claimed his parted lips once more. My fingers found their way into his hair to free it again. Vincent was more resistant this time. I think his determination to make sure we did the deed before another interruption made him try to move things along. I couldn't have that. Getting off wasn't what we needed just then. We needed to really connect. That required time and care. It didn't seem like we had the luxury, but I was just as determined that we did.

Before the kiss could give way to a frenzy, I slowed it and deepened it while I slowly caressed his the elegant muscles along his back. During that very long, nearly lazy kiss, I moved us into the bedroom though I did not try to undress him. We fell onto the bed still kissing and caressing through our clothes. I was relentless though gentle with the kiss. Vincent relaxed as we settled onto the sheets. He yielded with something between a sigh and a moan. Then, I pulled off his top. With one hand holding him down by on shoulder, I kissed and licked his collarbones. I next kissed, licked, sucked and nipped my way down his torso making sure I paid torturous attention to his nipples and navel. Vincent was writhing and cursing at me by the time I pulled his boots and pants off. It was amazing how he could make the term sadistic bastard sound so sexy. I think it was the need and desperation in the tone.

My response was to take his erection in my mouth to the root. There was much less cursing then. In fact, there were no intelligible words until my name was wailed as my Love came hard in my mouth.

“Why do you take me that way first, when you know I want you in me,” Vincent murmured as he watched me undress.

“Those cute, little hips have a diabolical way of thwarting my plans unless you're sated,”I replied reasonably.

That got me an impish grin. He quieted as soon as I crawled between his legs.

“We need a nice long ride to dissipate the energy between us,” I murmured as I prepped him.

“Whatever, Colonel Bastard, just get on ….uhnhhhh...”

I watched his eyes while I had him. They were dark and almost fathomless and filled with lust and love. It was a long and slow ride. The tension built slowly at first, but when I finally touched Vincent's reawakened erection, he could stand no more. Those hips went to work in earnest bringing us over the edge a short while later. I cried out his name while he wailed mine. The connection between us sizzled. The air seemed to crackle. It was amazing.

“Was that long enough for you, Colonel?” Vincent murmured as we lay entwined with each other under warm blankets.

“It never is, Love,” I replied with as sigh. I squeezed him close for a moment. “But it will do for now.”

The regular blog will be up tomorrow.

Blue Basil, Funky Karaoke and Updates

What's Cookin' and Growin'

Jon and I finally made it to the Mar Vista Farmer's Market . It's really hard to get up and out of the house early on a Sunday. It was even harder to get up and out when it's been raining (sorry, east coast peeps for sounding wimpy). We managed to get there well before noon. I had a plan of sorts – get some eggplant and zucchini and maybe some fennel and leeks. I also wanted some apples or pears to roast. And then there were the ever elusive squash blossoms. I didn't find the eggplant, and I only found the sign for squash blossoms. Now, I know at least one vendor sells them. He said they tend to get snapped up early. I shall try again in the next week or two. Hopefully, I can drag myself over there when the place opens. I really want to have a stuffed and fried squash blossom. Then, things got a little crazy. I did get the leeks and fennel as per the plan, but I also found some green tomatoes. And that's when I spotted the herb vendors. I had been growing chives and dill since Christmas. But this vendor had thyme and Italian oregano and African Blue Basil. Who wouldn't want that? Now, my window sill is full of foliage. And all the while I was shopping, There was this guy in a sixties era tuxedo with a red jacket under a gazebo singing a medley of sixties soul – all by himself with a Karaoke machine. I particularly enjoyed his version of Shot Gun especially when he actually did the jerk (the performer kind of looks like the emcee in this video except in a red tux). Why didn't I have a camera? Ah well, he made shopping a very funky experience. Hopefully, he'll be back next time.

I finally made the roasted eggplant caponata from my Ina Garten cookbook. Of course, it wasn't until I got to the end of the recipe that I noticed that you have to wait at least two hours before serving for the flavors to marry. Oh bother. Well, it's close enough to dinner not to matter anyway. I shall have some as a snack later. It tasted pretty good when I tried it to test for seasoning. I'll make sure to get a proper photo. Now, for dinner, I'm making Aaron McCargo, Jr.'s Buffalo chicken tenders with blue cheese dipping sauce! That may get a photo if I don't eat them too quickly.

Updates

Films

Though I'm still not ready for working on a shoot, that doesn't mean we aren't working on the productions. Right now, I'm trying to find period costumes for my Vampire, Simon Molinar (for the flash backs) and some permanent fangs. I'm also researching locations online. We're also interfacing with our production design and FX peeps on the look of the shows. The plan is to have a lot of the planning finished by the time I'm side effects free, so we can schedule the shoots and get started. We'll be having some of the production design meetings as early as this week. I had a chat with one of our film mentors last week. Much of the discussion was a bit depressing. Our mentor is known for hitting us with cold hard realities. However, he said that the web series ideas are good ones. More and more funding sources and studios are requiring some sort of visual proof of concept. If it has an audience already – that's even better. Though we'd shoot them anyway as we really are itching to shoot something, it's good to know we're on the right track.

Books

My output is increasing with each passing week. I'd say I'm up to a couple of pages – sometimes more – a day. I'll be putting up an excerpt for the Soldiers book this week on its own. I'm doing some homing right now. And we've started working on the Demonspawn book and other publishing issues. We'll have a date for that soon as well. Ideally, we'd like to release it as we're shooting the web series to have some cross promotion.

Stay tuned.

Freedom, Kitchen Horrors and Updates

The big news is that on Tuesday, my Oncologist decided that the side effects to chemo were outweighing the benefits and canceled the last two cycles. They even removed the PICC line that same day. So, I have finished treatments. Of course, I have a battery of tests to complete to make sure that I am tumor free. It will also take months for the side effects to fade away. And I'm still Neutropenic. More on that later. But the good – no, great news is that I finished with Chemo!!! I can eat ice cream (and I have). My particular drugs caused me to have a severe sensitivity to cold including food and drinks. That was fun. But no more of that unpleasantness. I can now start making plans for the rest of my life or lat least plans for the spring and summer. Craig is already suggesting that I train for a marathon (and he didn't even read last week's blog). I like the thought of training for something (I will be walking, not running). But Craig's idea of training usually involves running up a mountain. I wouldn't consider running up a mountain when I was much younger and in top physical condition. I sure won't be doing that now. There is a beach to walk along just 15 minutes from our building, for goodness sake. But all of that is for when I'm free of side effects. That will take time and me on my best behavior as a patient. So, for now, I'm behaving.

Kitchen Nightmares

Not the Gordon Ramsay show. I'm talking about the potential dangers for someone on a Neutropenic diet. As I said earlier, I find it disturbing that fresh fruits and vegetables are considered a danger under any circumstances. Just how badly is food being handled in the supply chain? But wait, the advice gets more ominous when venturing to eat outside the home. The advice on eating at any restaurant – don't do it at all. In fact, I should wait at least two months after my counts are normal to eat at a restaurant. The same advice applied to eating anything prepared at a deli counter. That includes getting sliced meats and cheese, too. But my favorite bit of advice involves buffet tables. Of course, I'm not allowed anywhere near them right now. But the advice is to stay away from them for at least a year after my counts are normal. If they cause that kind of concern, it's likely that I will be avoiding them from now on. I'm far from a germophobe, but these sorts of warnings gives a girl pause about everything I do that's food related.

I'm batty enough without letting this make me crazy. I think I'll focus on making things that I am allowed to eat like ice cream! I'm also experimenting with dishes like roasted fruit salad and Caponata. Or I plan to experiment with those recipes. I have to gather the energy to go shopping for the produce and then to cook it. I've got some really healthy veggie dishes ready like hummus (with roasted garlic) and a big ol' pot of collards. So I'm set until Tuesday. And that's fortunate, because I'm also not allowed to have leftovers that are over 24 hours old. Yeesh! I'm off to have that ice cream.

Soldiers Update – Empathetic Killers

This book had brought up some new aspects of Rik and Vincent's personalities to explore. The visitors crashing in on their lives bring into sharp focus the fact that they were bred and trained to be remorseless killers. While he has few regrets over anything he did as a soldier, Rik had hoped that their work with the Foundation wouldn't involve any killing let alone killing individuals they are suppose to be helping. This bothers Rik a great deal. How can he and Vincent save washed out Altereds, gain their trust and bring them back into the fold while maintaining that the alternative is death? However, when it comes to dealing with Simon Molinar, Rik is glad for the lethal part of his persona, because he feels it something that Molinar can understand and either respect or fear. The relationship between Molinar, Rik and Vincent is complex and strained. Molinar is expecting respect and even awe from beings he considers his progeny. Rik has to find a way to keep the military brass from having him destroyed before they can get all the Delphi information out of him. Even beyond that information, Rik realizes that Molinar is valuable as a resource to all the history of Altereds he has witnessed. Meanwhile, Vincent is acutely aware that Molinar is a threat to the humans working closely with him. He is usually one second away from breaking one of the Vampire's limbs to make sure he behaves himself. This situation makes for some tense meetings in the beginning. Here is an excerpt that is the aftermath of one of their more heated encounters with Molinar. [MILD SPOILERS]

“It was a smart move to put Braun in the middle of it,” Auerbach commented.

“Aside from the kill order not being anything we want, the threat will carry more weight with Wolverine squad if it comes from him,” I said. “But he's the last resort. We need to try to reach them and persuade them to give retraining a try.”

“That's a tall order, Blitz,” Auerbach said. “They will be very angry and deeply hurt on many levels by their treatment under the military.”

“Hey, no one is better at anger than me,” Vincent said. “But I could be reached with the right amount of patience and kindness. We know they've seen what the Foundation is about. Who knows, maybe they were heading here to demand we fix them.”

“You may be right, Hardcase,” Auerbach said. “I pray that is the case.”

“Amen,” I said. “Even if they're willing, this is going to be a long, tough road.”

“We have time to prepare,” the Doc said. “They won't be alert and aware for quite some time. But to the matter that is more immediate, how is our aged guest?”

“We had a long talk during a tour of the facility,” I said. “We had to come to an understanding.”

“Oh?”

“We told him we'd tear him limb from limb if he didn't behave,” I replied.

“Literally,” Vincent added. “He doesn't need arms or legs to cooperate.”

“How did he take it?”

“He understood that we are cut from the same cloth as he,” I said. “We got through to him.”

“That's good, but I need you fellas to understand something,” Auerbach said. “While I find our subject incredibly fascinating, I am not Doctor Bassett.”

Vincent and I gaped at him.

“I know how you boys think, and I'm grateful,” he replied. “But I studied all the records on our star guest, especially the staff logs. I know how manipulative he can be. That's why I want to know what happened to Doctor McKay.”

“I wondered why you asked about him,” I said. “What was so special about McKay?”

“Doctor McKay was as non-violent as a person can get. It was clear during the Delphi experiments that he had problems with Molinar and his killing though they had a clear rapport,” Auerbach replied. “A year after he escaped Delphi, Molinar was able to persuade McKay to leave with him and go on the run.”

“Why in the hell would he do that?” Vincent asked.

“Initially, McKay ran because the new version of Delphi was to feature him as an experimental subject. He carried the genetic marker that would respond to Molinar's DNA,” the Doctor replied. “But he stayed with Molinar for over a decade – long after there was anyone hunting him.”

“How does anyone know that?” I asked.

“The second project director, a Dr. Whitmore, kept a distant eye on them when they were traveling out of the country,” he said. “Delphi couldn't touch them, but I suppose there was curiosity about what they were doing. I'd love to know why McKay stayed so long and what happened after they dropped completely from the radar.”

“I get what you're saying,” Vincent said. “Anyone that could get someone like this McKay to stay with him despite hating the killing...”

“Is a master manipulator,” Auerbach said. “But I love my job and my office bar too much to be distracted. Still, I'm glad you drove the point home.”

“We protect our own, Doc. What's next for him anyway?” I asked.

“We'll debrief after we finish with the data chip. If the information passes muster, we put a transponder in him where he can't get at it and start looking for ways to make use of his information,” Auerbach replied. “You'll be spending a lot of time with him here and likely on that op.”

“Yipppeee,” Vincent muttered.

Despite this rocky beginning, Rik and Vincent will find themselves hanging out with an ancient Vampire who likes to kibitz on Vincent's cooking. But theirs will always be a complex relationship. Since I decided that I had more than one book with this story, it's been much more fun to write. I don't have to jam so much in a short span, so the character moments are happening naturally, and that's always fun.

I plan to have some love scene excerpts soon.

Film Updates

Jon and I have been busy bees working on scripts and editing stuff we've already shot. There is some new interest from a group of funders in our Jersey project. We're looking forward to hearing from them soon. As for the web series, I can't schedule a shoot dates until I'm fully clear of side effects. That's part of the whole behaving thing. I've even been yelled at by my actors about rushing into a shoot. Thus, I have no dates for the web series right now.

Stay tuned.

Bubble Girl vs Tap Water

Craig called me Bubble Girl on Friday. That wasn't exactly helpful though it was amusing. He was trying to make me laugh about the week I've had (and I'm still having). I'm housebound until Tuesday because my white blood cell count is very, very low. My immune system is compromised, so I can't be exposed to anyone who may be sick. I'm still not allowed to have fresh fruit or vegetables or tap water or fresh ground black pepper (it has a fungus, you know). Of course, now I want all of those things, including tap water which I don't normally drink. This state of affairs has delayed my chemo treatments again. And while I might have been annoyed at the delay so close to the finish, I'll take that over another hospital stay. There was talk of readmitting me in isolation until my counts rose to something closer to normal. Luckily, my temperature is still normal, and I actually feel no different than what has been normal for me of late. So, I get to stay home. That saved me from actually becoming a difficult patient.

Of course, like my sudden yearnings for tap water, the moment I'm told I can't go out is the instant I decide I want to train for the LA Marathon (walking it not running). Not that I don't have enough to keep my mind occupied at home. I have a lot to read and a lot more to write. More on the writing later. And then there is the cooking. I have a bunch of new cookbooks to explore and the Hubs underfoot to fetch ingredients from the forbidden supermarket or – even better – to do the dishes between the various stages of cooking. Sweet! I've already made a big pot of French onion soup and a pot of black bean chili. Those recipes weren't even in my new cookbooks. The lemon chicken in Ina Garten's How Easy is That turned out very nicely last week. Despite all that lemon, the chicken wasn't overly tart. It was just very nicely flavored and ever so tender. As for what's next, I noticed a roasted eggplant caponata (dip) that looked good and easy. I just have to talk Jon through buying a good eggplant. That should be interesting since I've rarely cooked with them.

And during the weekend, I have a lot of NFL football to watch. It's strangely peaceful without the Eagles in the playoffs. There is certainly far less profanity. Since I have no vested interest in any of the teams, I can just enjoy the games. So far, they've been riveting. I should be able to make it to Tuesday without going stir crazy. I know I'm not ready to train for a marathon. At least, not yet.

Updates

None this week. Despite the time home, my focus is off for writing. This blog took me two days.

Stay tuned.

New Year, New Recipes & Writing Updates

Ringing in the New - Finally

Jon and I got off to a very late start, and things are moving very slowly. At this moment, he seems to have abandoned dismantling the Christmas tree for looking at a site called batmobilehistory.com. I blame that on Roger Ebert. It's a long story. The reason for this scandalously lazy day is that we finally had our New Year's Eve celebration last night. Thus, we were up quite late watching two of our favorite holiday movies: The Thin Man which takes place over Christmas. I suppose we should have watched After the Thin Man which takes place over New Year's Eve. Ah well. The other film, which takes place over Christmas to New Year's Day is Tokyo Godfathers, a brilliant and crazy funny anime about three homeless people (a Transvestite, a teenaged runaway and an old rummy) find an abandoned baby then set off to reunite her with her parents. Joyful fun even while becoming brutal and unflinching at times. I mention this film almost every year, because it should be on everyone's holiday play list. But I know the big question is: What was served, food wise? I was in an odd mood as far as my appetite goes, so I didn't do the cheese and Pâté platter. Instead, I made Buffalo wings. What can I tell you? I really wanted some hot wings. Meanwhile, I made Carb man aka the Hubs linguine with a olive oil and garlic sauce and garlic bread on the side. That made him very happy. As for today, it's New Year's Day here, so we're having the black eyed peas and collard greens along some lovely ham. By tomorrow, I should be ready to face 2011. Yes, I know there is an Eagles Playoff game to torment me. Since I'm really surprised their season turned as well as it did, everything else would be gravy.

Allure of the Stove

There are no cooking channels on the TV at the hospital. Thus, I've gone a little bonkers catching up on my chefs and getting ideas on new things to try. I realized that overall, my every day cooking had fallen into a rut. For someone who is appetite challenged this is not a good thing. I should remember this lesson well as I discovered it while taking care of my Mother during her cancer treatments. That's when my cooking skills really expanded. I was trying to find things that she would eat. I even learned to make bread during that time. It was good for her and great relaxation therapy for me. Well, I need both aspects of the practice now. Luckily, the current mantra on the two food related network is cooking great food on a tight budget. Though some chefs still mention things like saffron or truffle related products in their recipes, most are adhering to the mantra and sticking to ingredients easily found in a supermarket. So unless Kirkland comes up with a 128 ounce can of saffron or a vat of truffle oil, those recipes will have to wait a while. This week, I'm working on a lemon chicken dish a la Ina Garten. I had something that was called lemon chicken in the hospital. It was an abomination. The texture didn't even seem like chicken breast. The only reason I had to believe that it was were the bones. Awful. I mean to right that wrong with a proper version. The rest of the recipes will be fresh takes on things like pot roast, meatloaf and stews. I plan to use my new collection of flavored oils and vinegars and the new collection of exotic salts in this effort. Hopefully, this will be as relaxing as I hope it will be.

And now, some ramblings about my current fiction. Warning: it will seem weird and may be off putting to some and there are some tiny spoilers here and there. Tread carefully.

Writing Updates

I realized two things this week about the latest Soldier's book. First, I have too much material for one book. The appearance of Simon Molinar from Demon Under Glass, the havoc he causes and the fate of Joe McKay are enough for one book. Dear Simon is loathe to share the spotlight with anyone – save for Joe. And in this book or books he is facing a lot of issues like his own mortality. In this future, the world has become too small for him to hide in the shadows. And due to the resurgence of interest in Delphi Project technology, there are people actively hunting him with the same or better financial and technical resources as he. Additionally, they have weapons developed to use against Altered Soldiers that are just as dangerous – if not more so – to him. Thus, this immortal has to face the fact that on a practical level, he has become mortal. All of this is in addition to facing the legacy of the time spent with Joe McKay and their investigation of Delphi. Simon's story also covers a lengthy covert op with Rik, Vincent and Ellie is Europe trying to destroy Delphi related technology and acquire or kill the American developing the program. That's a whole lot going on. When Simon isn't around, Rik and Vincent are contending with an all female squad of washouts that must be retrained or euthanized. There is a constant battle between the Foundation and the Generals over this squad. Meanwhile, Rik is the target of another soldier's obsession . This situation may push Vincent into an extreme act that could separate the men forever. You see, far too much material. I've decided to write it straight through then figure out where to break it up. My lucky(?) editors will get the whole thing. However, there won't been a big gap between publishing the books.

My second problem is that I'm having trouble putting my characters through the turmoil that I need to for the plot. I have to drag my poor Rik and Vincent into some pretty dark places. They aren't completely dark books. I mean, I have to be me which means each book has its own twisted moments of humor. But there is a lot more darkness than usual. Writing dark has always been hard for me even when it's integral to a plot. I never found writing that kind of fiction cathartic. It usually just depresses me. I suppose that's what the love scenes are there for – to counter the darkness. I will have to write some numerous, lengthy and exquisite love scenes then. Well, that makes me look forward to continuing. Excerpts are in the making.

Stay tuned.

Plus Sides, Thwarted Plans and Updates

Well 2010 was right scary at times, but I don't want to dwell on that. Pity parties make those really tough days even harder to get through. Besides, there has been a whole lot on the plus side of facing cancer. Rarity, for one. I have a rare enough cancer that I was able to get completely free treatment at a very fine teaching hospital. There was some extra luck in that my primary care Doc had been a resident and still had connections at said hospital. It cut down on the evaluation by four months. The head of Oncology had only seen two patients like me in 20 years (both are still cancer free which makes me very happy). Of course, that means I get to meet every resident in the program rather than being assigned to one Doc, but they are all so very young and earnest that I don't really mind. They all love hearing the crazy story of how I was diagnosed, and I like being a star. Blind luck, for another plus. Somehow, I found just the right desks to land on in the various government bureaucracies to get long term assistance in other areas. Good days were another plus. Before the second surgery, I got to have a really long run up to my 50^th birthday. I also discovered what a cool neighborhood I live in, got to cook new and exotic recipes and got to read a whole lot of books. And then there was the writing. I will save that for Updates, but it was a good year for writing. Last but not least, great support has been a really big plus. The Hubs has been extraordinarily steadfast and patient. The family who helped a lot by staying calm. My dear friends here who've helped schlep me to appointments or who sat with me through chemo. And everyone who has kept me and Jon in their prayers. I've never, for one moment, felt like I was facing this alone. That has been and continues to be a really big plus.

So I turn the page on a scary but not too horrible a year and look forward to more pluses and much better days in 2011.

Best Laid Plans

About an hour after I wrote the paragraphs above, I finally decided to take my temperature. I'd been having chills all day and was curious to see if I had a fever. Well, I did. In chemo world, that means I have to report to the nearest ER. I thought I'd bee there several hours, but would be home for the New Year arriving eating tasty nibbles. That was not the case. During the countdown, the ER Doc was explaining why they were admitting me and that it was likely it would be some days before I could go home. Joy. Still, there were positives. During my stay, my counts were raised to normal. That means that I should be on schedule to finish chemo by the end of the month. Jon and I hadn't planned on going anywhere during that time anyway. All I have to do is replace the collards and black eyed peas I've had to toss. We'd left everything on the stove when departing as I didn't think they'd keep me. The food was out until the next afternoon. Jon had stayed the night in my room. That was tragic. Both dishes had turned out very well. But they are cheap eats. I will make more for this Friday. Because I'm having my New Year's Eve, dagnabit. Oh yes, with tasty nibbles, movie marathon and the midnight toast. All that will be missing are those lame New Year's Eve programs especially the one with Kathy Griffin, and I can live with that. Now, all I need is a tiara...

Updates

I've been most pleased that I have kept writing in some fashion throughout the year. Mind, I'm not writing as fast as I would like. Sometimes, my focus is like that of a kitten with shiny objects. Still, I have my Soldiers sequel well under way. And, somehow I started an entirely different novel. That seems a bit crazy, but it actually helps me keep going. When I'm blocked on one, I work on the other and they are getting done. I don't kid myself though. I know that I won't really reach optimum output until after I finish the final cycle of chemo. On the film front, we still plan to shoot the web series we started production on before I got physically overwhelmed. There are some new possibilities for locations because of a very cool new camera we have access to. We're thus rethinking what we can do with shoots like Demon Under Glass. It's all very exciting. Hopefully, we'll be shooting something in several weeks. As for the big shoots, we had a lot of activity shortly before the end of the year on two of the films. More meetings are upcoming soon. Enthusiasm is high and the connections look good. It's been a long since the last film, and that has tried our patience and sapped our resolve at times. But I must admit that the connections we've made during all that time are really good. And that sort of thing does take either a long time or a lot of blind luck. The upshot is that there should be a lot happening with the big films in January and February.

Stay tuned.