Year of Fun, Rats, and Holiday Truths

I've always loved the holiday season – even when I worked in retail. I love the food prep and the gift giving. No matter the mayhem in my life, we celebrate Christmases and the New Year. I just saw a lovely documentary from Lucy Worsely that affirmed my belief in celebrating the full 12 Days of Christmas. Happy 12^th Night, y'all (I began this blog on January 6th)!

Despite that great love for the season, it is linked now and forever to my cancer diagnosis and the first surgery. Ten years ago, this past December, I nearly departed this world. But there were many holiday miracles that December. My primary care doctor was one of a handful of docs that could recognize my symptoms, There was a cracking surgeon on call when I presented at the ER. Somehow, Temple University ended up in a bowl game (I was really convinced that news was the morphine talking, but it was true). I couldn't eat Thanksgiving dinner, and Christmas dinner tasted like metal from the hellacious antibiotic. I was okay about the food tasting that way, but I was offended that the champagne tasted like metal. I drank it anyway.

Since my diagnosis was in December, my yearly probing, blood draws and chest-smashing are scheduled during that same time. While I'm having fun with the usual rituals and the new recipes or ingredients, I find that I have to drop everything and sit in waiting rooms. As I head into a New Year, I'm waiting for test results. It's quite a dichotomy. Most years, I'm baking and enjoying Alastair Sim (the only Scrooge on film who matters) and imbibing calorie rich libations while worrying about test results. This year, I was doing all those things while worrying about how I'd be financially able to be treated if something comes back or something new comes up. I was also hit with a major downer over the yearly survey of my overall health and state of mind. The former is worse than it was ten years ago in many ways due to the profound side effects of the cancer treatment, and the latter has been in a spiraling depression because of all that I can't do or do as easily as before Chemo.

I scared my Doc with the answers to that survey. I had not intended to do that. The questions didn't have answers that reflect my gratitude for being alive. I had to assure her that my answers did not indicate despondency. I was still cooking, and baking, and following rituals. Most importantly, I'm still writing naughty holiday stories (albeit way, way too slowly). Everything I like doing seems to take a lot more time than the year before. That fact really bugs me, but I keep plugging.

Enough of that. There is another thing about 2020 that I am very excited about. I had hoped to be excited about silver jumpsuits and jet packs, but this is a lot of fun as well. This year, I reach a venerable milestone on my birthday. Thus, it's another Year of Fun (#YoF2020)! Also, the Lunar New Year heralds The Year of the Rat, which is my birth year. That means, I am doubly obligated to celebrate. Thus, there will be hijinx and shananigans. I plan to have dishes I've never tried and a fancy cocktail now and then along with my wine (much more champagne than usual). And there will be travel. There will be!

Speaking of new foods, I have some recipes on my immediate to-do list. One is a Nigerian dish called MoiMoi or Moin Moin. It's made with black-eyed peas, bell peppers, onions, and hot peppers blended and steamed into a pudding-like consistency. Jon used it in his new novel, so I have to try it out. Yes, I will be testing recipes from my fiction. I've also been experimenting with British baking ingredients like Muscovado dark brown sugar (a richer brown sugar that tastes like molasses) and Mixed Spice (a much zestier pumpkin pie spice). They've made a marked difference in my baked goodies this year. Nigella Lawson is responsible for this. Her Christmas yummies looked so amazing that I had to try to replicate them as closely as possible. This isn't British, but I'm also excited about getting a hold of Ruby Cocoa and Ruby Chocolatebaking morsels. They taste like chocolate and berries at the same time. The fudge is amazing. Praise Amazon Prime for making the world an accessible pantry.

I don't make resolutions anymore. However, I aim to treat myself better during the YoF2020 and beyond. I've been working on a consistent skincare routine to add to my natural hair care regimen. You wouldn't believe how many YouTube tutorials it took to get a handle on the skin and the hair. On the plus side, I now know way more than I ever expected to about beauty influencers. It may seem like a waste of time, but the reviews and recs save viewers a lot of time and money. It's especially nice to have advice from women who are my exact shade or hair texture. And bless the professional artists online who know how to makeup women of a 'certain age.' In short, I'm doing the self-care thing.

Writing Updates – I will finish the current story. I've got a couple of new novels in the concept stage while I am continuing with my popular titles. My plate is full, but that's fine. It's full of my favorite kind of characters. I'm also learning a lot about illustrating my work. This New Year/New Decade is very exciting. I am eager to take it on.

Stay tuned!