Jitters, Puppies and Re-Writes

Warning: If you find yourself here via a google search for such things as TV shows or films, recipes or cities, this blog has some facts. However, this blog is one author’s very twisted musing on many weird things. It is sometimes graphic in content. If you read on, don’t write to yell at me.


It’s cloudy in Los Angeles. It’s been that kind of gray that makes the summer colors really pop. It’s a nice change of pace. They may be autumn colors, but since they are not the oranges, reds and yellows I associate with that season, I still think of them as summer. And it’s still freaking hot here. I’m more scatter brained than usual today. We were exiled from our apartment for the second time is six weeks. Thus, we had an unexpected six hour tour of Culver City and Marina del Rey while our building endured another landlord action. Then, we spent the evening putting the apartment back together. I’m really, really tired and punchy.

White Knuckles, Actors and the Re-write

This week was really crazy. We had a 24 hour period where we received some extremely important contracts just after noon. We had to get them singed and notarized ASAP. Of course our lawyer was in meetings, then we had to get the language corrected and have new contracts sent. Then the printer died while generating the document to sign. I think aliens briefly abducted the messenger. The documents were returned in a timely fashion by all accounts, but I was left feeling jittery – 20 cups of coffee in an hour jittery. Shortly after that, we were contacted by our New Jersey partners about hiring key crew (art director, costume desisgner, etc). Things are moving along.

Meanwhile, the re-write continues. We now know how many original tunes we’ll need for the film, and we’ve started generating a list of existing songs that we’d like to license. If anyone out there has some suggestions for dance music from the early 70s (pre-disco), send me your list at deborahlwarner@gmail.com. We’re now looking at the flow of the story and where each character arc ends. Ideally, each of the main characters will go through an experience that makes them different people from when the film began. We had to move around some scenes, because the arcs were over a while before the ending credits roll. That’s not good. Also, in comedies, there have to be funny bits scattered throughout the film, but not in a predictable fashion. It takes some trail and error to get the scenes to flow in a natural manner. After this version is complete, we’ll likely stage a table read with some of the cast and some substitutes to figure out if the jokes and timing work as well as judge the film’s length.

We’ve been having a lot of fun with one aspect of the re-write. We have worked with some of the actors that are to be cast in the film. It’s a lot of fun writing dialogue for someone familiar. It’s easy to know what will sound good coming from them. And we know to give them some wiggle room for adlibs and changes. There is a new character that is omni-present in the B&B as it is being renovated. The character, Carl Yablonski, was inspired by Eldin Bernecky from Murphy Brown and Carl Brutananadilewski from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, a show set in Red Bank, New Jersey, ironically enough. I know it sounds disparate and weird, but the character works and the actor is really funny. Though he is way cuter than either of the characters that inspired Carl. The casting of the leads has caused slight problems with the re-write. The prospective Michaels and Lindas are different enough that we will have to do a little more refinement of the character arcs depending on who is ultimately cast. I know it’s maddening not to know, but I can’t blab yet. It’s driving me crazy.

No Time for Fun

Not fun like going out to dinner and having fabulous clam chowder and a big hunk of warm crusty bread. Hmmm, that sounds really good. Where was I? Oh, I have no time for following up on some really cool ideas for the next Soldiers sequel. I actually have enough ideas for a couple more books. All of these tantalizing notions are coming to me when I have no time to follow up on them. I have jotted them down. After all, I have to come up with enough storylines for a full series run in the live action version. That meeting should take place very soon. It has to bee soon as I’ll be traveling a great deal in the next several weeks. The other profound distraction is an erotic romance script that has been tugging at my mind for months. I am working on that in very short bursts when I have a rare lull in the action. I may have an opportunity to get the script to the actor I really want in the lead role this February. I’m doing a long treatment that I’ll work into a draft after the shoot wraps. I suspect I’ll find moments to work on it as a diversion during the shoot. Yes, I am quite pleased to say that I still write as a pleasant diversion. It has yet to become a chore. Also, for those who have inquired, I am still working on Vincent Greven’s Cookbook. Cookbook writing is a new skill set, so it’s slow going. I also keep getting distracted by testing the recipes. I plan to put up the free e-book next month.

Concho and Craig
As the days wind down for us at the Archive, we have a new addition to the staff that has caused much happiness for all. One of the librarians has been bringing her puppy, Concho, to hang out on the patio outside the breakroom. He’s a mix breed, shelter dog with floppy ears and a wonderful personality. He bounces while frolicking in the grass, and his tail is almost always wagging. He’s adorable when taking a nap while stretched out in the sun. Everyone looks for him as they come in for their shifts or breaks. He gets loads of attention. We’re planning on buying him a chew toy. And Concho loves Craig to pieces. Of late, my conversations with Craig consists mainly of listening him say ‘Who’s a good dog? Who’s my best buddy?’ It’s been highly entertaining to see such a gruff, acerbic guy turn all cuddly and silly around this very happy critter. It’s making these last days at the Archive a lot of fun even with the white knuckle moments.

Pop Music, Re-Writes and More Naked Men

Warning: If you find yourself here via a google search for such things as TV shows or films, recipes or cities, this blog has some facts. However, this blog is one author’s very twisted musing on many weird things. It is sometimes graphic in content. If you read on, don’t write to yell at me.


Are You Ready?

For some football? My favorite time of the year is here. It’s the time of year when I stumble out of bed on Sunday to recline on the sofa and watch football with one eye open (or both eyes closed) until I wake up enough to pay attention. Unless The Philadelphia Eagles are playing. Then I have both eyes open and my brain set to the spew obscenities option. This is a complete non sequitur, but I was titckled to see Will Smith wearing a discolored Eagles cap in Hancock. There was a lot of speculation on the net about whose team the hat was from, but come on. What else could it be? I knew what it was from the shape of the Eagle and at a distance. Anyway, the season will be somewhat annoying for me, because of the New York Giants being the reigning champs. They are a nemesis of the Eagles (the team has more of them than Horatio Cain). Though I’m still glad they beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl(the Patriots and Arlen Specter know why). The problem is that we’ll be deep in the heart of Giants country (they play in New Jersey – I dunno) and there will be rabid Giants fans in our midst on set. Ah well.

Speaking of autumn, the weather here has gone nuts. It’s actually been humid for the last few weeks. This past week, it felt more like we were in New Jersey in July than late summer in LA. It’s been down right funky. And not in the fun musical way. Maybe that’s a good thing (though my sinuses and hair would beg to differ). It may still be funky when the shoot begins. We would be acclimated. Though it could also easily be freezing.

The Re-write Stuff

Yes, it’s a bad pun. Jon is on the last scenes of his detailed, line by line treatment. He likes to block every single action and the underlying motivation in single sentences for the entire film before going directly to the script. It’s a great way for him to think out everything for each of the characters making it easier to direct the actors. But it can drive me a little crazy. Questions like ‘Why would Michael do that?’ often draw a response from me like ‘Because he’s a man.’ That’s not very helpful as far as Jon is concerned though it’s a reasonable answer from my point of view. We typically resolve the confusion with a more specific question. Clarity has been very important during this re-write. And it can be surprisingly difficult to achieve for the more subjective aspects of this film. For example, what makes a rock band successful or not successful? That can be a highly subjective question. The answers can cause a fight if poorly phrased. One of the characters is a young man who heads of band (The band has no name as yet. We were going to call it Codfish Aristocracy after a strange book Jon recently processed at the Archive. However, there already is an active band with that name. Go figure.) that plays incomprehensible music. Most folks who read the earlier draft of the script thought it meant that Dave’s band was bad. They can play their instruments and can sing; however, they have trouble connecting with an audience. Their lyrics are odd. And their style of performing is more like performance art than playing rock music. I watched a lot of live music in my clubbing days in a part of the country where some great acts were born. Still, it was hard to articulate what I thought was wrong with Dave’s band. I’ve seen weird acts that I’ve liked. One of them, Sparks and the tune I Predict, were an inspiration for Dave’s band. Being weird isn’t enough for a band to fail to connect with an audience. I thought Sweet or The Sweet had the weirdest lyrics I’ve ever heard (Ballroom Blitz, Little Willie, Fox on the Run), but I liked them a lot as a teen (Lord, I’ve just dated myself). And I’ve seen bands where the audience was irrelevant to the performance. Some of those worked for me, because the band was having such a great time that it was just fun to watch them be with each other. It took a lot of Youtube surfing and annoying a radio jock friend of mine, Bruce Kline, in the wee small hours of the morning to figure out how to explain why Dave’s band gets bad reactions from most of the other characters in the film yet the aging Pop Star, Billy Swain, thinks they could still make it.

It’s a matter of the members the band completely owning the material they are performing. There is an energy level among band mates who are confident in the material and their performance of it. That energy is infectious even if the lyrics are inane or even incomprehensible outside of the performance. I was finally able to explain Dave’s band enough to Jon for him to find a way to make that problem cinematic. Early on, we see a Youtube performance of Dave’s signature song performed by his band. It is not fun to watch. Later, Billy performs the song during the battle of the bands at the climatic Reunion Dance. If Billy was nothing else, he is a consummate performer who knows how to own a song. When he performs it, everyone is on their feet dancing. One script problem solved. I’m still trying to explain teenaged girls’ brains to Jon. I don’t think Youtube or Bruce can help me with that. Still, we think the script will be finished soon. I almost finished with the initial schedule. The negotiations with the actors is going well. We should be able to start talking about them in a couple of weeks, if not sooner.

Two Sides of Naked

I am most often chided by my friends back east for being jaded about working in film, even on my heretofore modest level. After all, what isn’t fun about seeing gorgeous men live and up close in various states of undress? In theory it’s fabulous to see someone like Karl Urban or, more recently, Travis Willingham, half naked. But that’s only if you don’t have work to do while around such distractions. You have to look that them really critically, make adjustments (I’ve often been on my knees in front of the most amazing torsos trying to get trousers to lay correctly) and send them on their way to the next scene. I don’t even really notice what’s actually in front of me until the day is over. Then, there is poor Jon who really doesn’t think about what he’s actually looking at until he’s almost asleep long after we’ve wrapped for the night. Then, he’ll just exclaim “Woo-hoo” and go to sleep. Maybe that’s why the ladies are so comfortable in states of undress around him. They sense his oblivious-ness. My crew guys like Randy almost never get to see the beautiful women undressed or nearly so. He always ends up talking to some guy who is quite comfortable hanging out in his boxers. Randy is not comfortable talking to men in their boxers. Early in his career out here, I overheard him telling an Ohio buddy that he really liked Apollo on Battlestar Galactica, but doesn’t that guy have any pants?

There are times, however, when I am supposed to look at an actor’s performance and evaluate everything about it, including his appearance. That can be quite a challenge to my professionalism. This week, Matty Ferraro, debuted in the second season opener of here!TV’s The Lair as Ian, a troubled young man who is also a werewolf. Matty was one of our very small crew that worked on the The Gunslinger short in February. He is also a talented actor. One of the more pleasant things I do out here is watch actors I know work. It’s hard to get to the plays sometimes, but we’ve gone to screenings and catch most of the TV appearances. My favorite until yesterday, was Garett Maggart’s guest appearance on CSI: Miami. It was only usurped because there was no nakedness as there was in The Lair. Garett and I talked while I was watching. He asked what I was so happy about. Upon hearing that I was watching a homoerotic werewolf, he dryly replied ‘well, of course, what else would you be watching?’

My prurient nature aside, I enjoyed Matty’s initial performance on The Lair. Ian is mysterious and compelling and vulnerable all at once. Even before the audience gets to see his scars, it is clear that he is a wounded soul. When Riley picks him up hitching on the road, it is clear that Ian is more hungry for human contact than he is interested in sex. Thus, when the men come together the encounter is tender and truly intimate and not just carnal. I could still see Ian and Riley during the sex scene. And it helped that both men are beautiful. I was very interested in seeing Matty in these scenes because I want him to portray Vincent in the live action version of the Soldiers novels. He did not disappoint. He is elegantly built and graceful in movement. I never lost Ian’s character while he was in a love scene. His performance was everything I had hoped to see. My biggest challenge was telling Matty all of this without sounding like a drooling lech. I think I managed to pull it off.

On the flip side, is Matty’s talent manager and our production partner, Ralph Lliteras. He, too, hears from many who are not in the business that his job must be a lot of fun. I think he should have a web cam in his office, because even to my jaded eyes, most days for Ralph are truly bizarre and unbelievable. I think he’s had everything short of a llama stampede in his office over the years. Weirdness aside, Ralph is a dedicated manager who makes sure to see as many of his clients’ performances as humanly possible. Ralph is also very, very straight. He approached viewing The Lair with a far different mindset than mine. He gamely watched through the scenes with the muscle bound leathermen in a group grope-fest and other fun things until Matty appeared toward the end of the episode. I was speaking to him on the phone when he commented on understanding why the producers were impressed with Matty. His wife, Marguerite was loudly commenting in the background that she saw why the producers were impressed with him. Ralph just sighed. He was very happy with Matty’s performance. And don’t fret for his sensibilities. Two of his more lovely female clients have some risqué appearances on the horizon. He’ll be a much happier manager then.

This has been a really long blog. I’ll have to save the return of Craig from Ohio and the Adventures of Choncho, the library dog, for next week.

On Glamour and Ranting

Warning: If you find yourself here via a google search for such things as TV shows or films, recipes or cities, this blog has some facts. However, this blog is one author’s very twisted musing on many weird things. It is sometimes graphic in content. If you read on, don’t write to yell at me.


The Glamorous Life

This week has been strange and exhausting. We’re at that point in development where we have to do a lot more work on the film, but we’re not in a position to leave our day jobs. This happened in the weeks before Demon Under Glass started production. A commitment for funding doesn’t mean that we’ll have the funds in hand immediately. For Demon it was about a three-week lag between the green light and quitting my day job. I was working an overnight shift then. I had to have meetings in the morning and do some logistical work before I could go to bed. That was not a happy time. It’s not quite that bad this time, but it still means a day that doesn’t end until 4 o’clock in the morning.

Thankfully, we’re mainly working on the re-write of the script. I’m also working on the initial shooting schedule, because I’m the only one who knows what new scenes are being added and who is in them. Otherwise, the 1st AD would be doing it. I do have some logistics to do. I know the central coast and North Jersey fairly well, so I’m working on where our base will be hotel-wise and the fact sheet for the incoming cast and crew (where to shop for almost anything, where the good restaurants are, neighborhoods to avoid, etc). We have a production company partner in New Jersey handling the locations and most production support. They’re very good. We’ll have several choices of locations to look at when we fly out to scout. And they’re all into music. But they’re all guys. It takes a girl brain to ferret out where to find feminine necessities at three am when we’re wrapped for the night. And guys also think that any hotel with a number in the name will suffice to come home to after a 12-hour day. That’s fine for an 18 day shoot – just barely. We’ll be there for six weeks shooting. Jon and I will be there for a couple of weeks before that. For that amount of time with those hours, everyone will need accommodations that have some space to spread out and a small kitchen, at the very least. Thus, I’ve been working on that bit of logistics.

Jon wryly observed that we were in a constant state of fatigue and noted that yep, feels like a shoot’s about to begin.

There-write has been fun for me to watch. Jon is at that point where the characters have found voices and are trying to do things on their own. Unfortunately, they’re either doing the things that he doesn’t want them to do or they’re doing the right things when he doesn’t want them to. I told him not to fight them. A piece of writing develops it’s own internal logic when it starts writing itself. It took some hours of frowning alternating with many rounds of web sudoku, he started re-arranging the scenes to fit where the characters were taking him. There’s been a lot less frowning and muttering since then. The new script is shaping up nicely. It’s been fun collaborating with Jon again. And it’s great to work on something that is primarily light-hearted. Everyone else involved would like to see it completed like, two weeks ago, but that isn’t likely while we’re still working full time. We were compelled to chrash out a detailed treatment for the actors we’re negotiating with in its stead. That was the cause of one of the 4am nights. It turned out well, but that next day’s work was brutal. During such mind-numbing fatigue and physical pain, I am reminded of a producer friend, Melissa Balin, who was the casting assistant on Demon Under Glass said while working with us. We were engaged in something extremely tedious like rippring open thousands of manilla enevelopes containing head shots when she said “Motion Pictures, dahling, isn’t it all fabulous?” I am very exciting about the prospect, but the irony in her voice uttering that question still applies.

Fall Preview
Warning: possible spoilers for CSI: Miami, CSI, Law and Order, Law and Order: Criminal Intent, Dexter and any other show I might decided to blither about.

Alas, the summer TV viewing season is almost over. There won’t be many more episodes of Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations, The Closer or Eureka. This year, all three have performed beyond even my high expectations. For a travel show, No Reservations has morphed into an extraordinarily profound experience with other cultures and our own country. I thought the Beruit episode couldn’t be topped, but the Laos episode this season featured a visit to a family near the plain of jars whose patriarch had been crippled by ordinance left during the Vietnam War. They fed him graciously while humbly telling him of their suffering since the bombs fell on the country decades ago. It was profoundly moving, because it seemed that they just wanted an American to really hear their story. There was no anger only profound sadness and a need to be heard. Each show this season has been an amazing gem with widly divergent tones.

The Closer continues to amaze us with it’s range of the tragic and comedic while remaining unflinchingly real. They just did an episode that is a cliché cop show theme – the brother of one of the valued detectives is murdered. They did every scene that you’d expect in such an episode, but how they were executed and performed turned that hackeneyed plot on it’s ear while nearly ripping my heart out. Kudos to Kevin Bacon (Philly boy) on his second spin at directing.

Eureka is a clever, charming show with really strong character work. It’s mostly funny, but it, too, has managed to break my heart this season. I’m pleased to see it’s getting a lot more than the usual run of episodes. While it’s not the wrenching experience that watching Galactica is, we really enjoy the show.

From the sublime, we go to the ridiculous. The Fall TV season is nigh and we are bombarded by commercials and billboards extolling the genius of the new and returning offerings. My particular favorite are the ads for Showtime’s line-up which includes the extraordinarily revolting phrase ‘Dexter, the serial killer everyone loves.’ I have had problems with the concept of this show from the outset. First off, serial killers just do not function this way. They have their own twisted little bent and that’s what they focus on. It’s why there is always a pattern to their crimes. Decades of research support this. Secondly, no matter what the potestations from Showtime and the show’s creators to the contrary, it is the nature of a TV viewer to idnetify and emphasize with a lead character. Inevitably, there would be viewers watching that are, de facto, rooting for Dexter to kill someone and fearing that he will be caught. This lates slogan proves that Sowtime has embraced the notion. Why this isn’t distrubing to critics (they love the show too) or media watchers is simply beyond my comprehension. But most of the rest of their current line-up is chocked full of reprehensible characters, why not cheer on a serial killer? Geesh!!!

It’s almost a relief to turn to my usual soapbox. Almost. I’m adding some unexpected rants to my usual tirade. It is with a heavy heart that we turn away from Law and Order. It’s been a very long run that we’ve enjoyed emmensly, but the show has jumped the shark. Jack McCoy has a nemisis. I barely tolerate a nemisis in shows like CSI: Miami. I won’t tolerate it in a show I’ve highly respected.I’m on the verge of giving up on Law and Order:Criminal Intent. Lead Detective Robert Goern has been through all things geared to give the actor a chance to ACT to the rafters. It’s been particularly annoying last season. The only repite we had were the Dect. Mike Logan episodes that often were twisted with dark cop humor. Alas, Chris Noth was written out of the series at the end of this season. We’ll wait to see what Jeff Goldblum brings to the show, but I think I’m done with it. I think I will be relieved to return to yelling at CSI: Miami and it’s hot new coronor. She’s only 25. I don’t think you can get your license at that age let alone have enough experience to be a coronor. But she’s cute. Geesh!!!

Film Announcement, Log Flumes and Banana Splits

Warning: If you find yourself here via a google search for such things as TV shows or films, recipes or cities, this blog has some facts. However, this blog is one author’s very twisted musing on many weird things. It is sometimes graphic in content. If you read on, don’t write to yell at me.


I don’t like having so many days without Craig to talk to. The Archive was a bleaker place during his absence. There was a floppy-eared puppy for a few days though. The little fellow was so adorable that he made Jon think about getting a dog. We hope he’s there Monday as Craig with dogs is a lot of fun to watch. It’ll be good to have Craig back. He never fails to make me laugh, even when I’m highly stressed. And I am highly stressed.

Name that Film

The developing project that has been consuming Jon and I for about six weeks to the exclusion of everything else – including The Gunslinger – is called Luv U 4 Ever. The casting Breakdown went out this week. Our Casting Director wrote the following:

TAGLINE: A love triangle that comes full circle.

STORY LINE: A former teen pop idol, Billy Swain is driven from his home when the IRS seizes everything except his Corvette and a bag of fan mail. In it, he finds a touching letter from an old fan and decides to show up at her doorstep completely destitute. He finds a family going through their own issues, some with music, and in the midst of reconstructing their lives. This romantic comedy is about music, the price of fame and the consequences of life's choices.

I wrote the first draft of this script in 2002. It’s going through a lot of changes. Part of those changes were at the behest of David Cassidy who is our choice to play the pop idol, Billy Swain. My language about all of the actors involved will be tentative, because no contracts have been signed yet. We actually wouldn’t have sent out the Breakdown at all, but the funding source insisted that we start negotiating with the leads asap. We’re to shoot in late October through November. Yes, it looks like I’ll either be cooking Thanksgiving dinner at a Residence Inn or we may actually have to go to a restaurant. Why won’t we go to Philly while we are only 90 minutes away? We have family scattered all over the county there, and all of them would be hurt if we didn’t find a way to have food with them that day. So, I will avoid that stress and stay in New Jersey. But I’m digressing. Many people who’ve followed my work loved that script and the core of it remains. It’s just that we’ve become better writers since then. The new script will be sharper and more sophisticated while remaining quite funny and, hopefully, touching. Casting brings delightful surprises, but it also brings big balls of stress.

Bathroom Blues

No, there’s nothing wrong with the bathroom or my ability to use one. We have reached the stage in the pending film when I can’t seem to get to the bathroom because of incoming phone calls, e-mails and faxes. Thankfully, I’m not that deeply involved in the initial casting. Thus, I don’t have to field countless calls from agents and managers while the field is whittled down. Some of the roles are already filled with actors we’d cast when the project was first in development. I’ll make those announcements when contracts are signed. The film’s info will also go up on the Dragoncor website at that time. Still, there is a lot happening to keep me out of the bathroom. Jon said I was sighing heavily an hour after waking on Thursday. That was because the first time I answered the phone, I found myself on a conference call with the head of the New Jersey production company. We had a little fire to put out and we haven’t even set foot in the state for the film. My partner knows that I really loathe surprise conference calls, so I knew it was a necessity. Still, I was rattled all the rest of the day.

But then, there was Friday. We had a hard deadline to get in all of the paperwork for the funding. That included a commitment from a bonding company. We’d sent everything to get that weeks ago with no response from the man who issues the letter. He’s a nice man whose inbox is perpetually filled with equally urgent requests. We all understood this, but we had a hard deadline. I don’t like calling in favors from my big guns (really connected people are hard to find and you never want to wear out your welcome), but I had to in this instance. He made one phone call and in less than an hour, the fax arrived. We got everything in a mere 45 minutes before the close of business Friday. Most of my role in that was played while I was at work. I had a headache the rest of the shift. My partner had a migraine, and he never gets those.

Late Night Fun

Well, it was amusing to me, anyway. While we’re in this phase of development, I’m doing a lot of research into the cost and feasibility of some of the shots and sequences that Jon wants to do in the film. That way, when the key crew is hired, they have what they need to figure out how to execute the shots or how to execute alternatives if our suggestions are too expensive. One was whether or not we could use 2-D FX software to de-age our pop star to match his archival footage. That way he could perform songs now and the shots could be made to look like they were from the 70s. This FX was used on Patrick Stewart on the last X-Men movie and on John Goodman in Speed Racer and on Bruce Boxleitner and Jeff Bridges in Tron 2 (Tron 2???). Sound software exists to de-age voices younger as well. The question is, as always, how much does it cost? We’re still waiting to hear if the price of the shots will give the line producer a coronary.

That research was interesting, but not as much as finding elements to create a title sequence for the hit 70s show, The Billy Swain Show. We want an opening that’s a cross between The Monkees and The Banana Splits. Naturally, Mr. Stickler to Detail, Jon, wants to find a period correct amusement park either here or in New Jersey and preferably with a giant sliding board. Right. Strangely, I found one in relatively nearby Riverside, CA. It doesn’t have a giant slide, but it has a log flume that was also in the Banana Splits opening. We shoot several pages in California before moving to the Central Jersey coast for the rest. While researching the opening sequence, I spent a great deal of time on the evil and addictive Youtube. While looking at the opening for the Monkeeys, I saw links to Bobby Sherman (I think he’s now a Sheriff’s Deputy somewhere out here). Those links lead me to Here Come the Brides. I remembered that David Soul was on that show, but had forgotten about Sherman being there was well. I don’t remember Mark Lenard on there at all, and why did Bruce Lee ever guest star? Mind you, this is usually happening at 3am. The mind tends to wander. I got the answers we needed, but still don’t know what the cost will be. Meanwhile, I have all those extremely catching opening themes stuck in my brain. Jon has been asking me script questions at different points in time and all I have in my head is "Tra la la la la la la.' It's maddening. And that TV theme show site is as evil as Youtube.

The nights are late, because it’s been hard to sleep. This is our first full budget feature. None of us want to make a misstep. And there are still a lot of elements in the air. I know that in about three weeks we’ll be doing a lot of flying and that the script has to be finished. But there are no firmer dates than that. That drives me crazy. And we had to postpone our trip to Paris. It looks like our tenth anniversary will occur in the middle of pre-production while we’re crazed and tired. Still, it’s a very exciting prospect to be back on the East Coast for a while. I have plans to visit family and some often touted restaurants in Philly and NYC (Including Bourdain’s last haunt, Brasserie Les Halles) among many others. The hotel has a very nice kitchen, so I can still have my cooking therapy. As for the Paris trip, that apartment is available for Christmas. :)

Publishing Updates
Due to the insanity that will ensue during the next several months, Sybaritic Press is suspending submissions of prose until Spring, 2009. There are still a couple of things in the pipeline, but there will be nothing new on the prose side until then. I need to remove at least one hat.

Film Updates

As promised, the website for Dragoncor.com has been updated to include The concepts we just pitched. The direct link is concepts. Stay tuned!

Strange Lightning, Free Bread and Beware Ohio

Warning: If you find yourself here via a google search for such things as TV shows or films, recipes or cities, this blog has some facts. However, this blog is one author’s very twisted musing on many weird things. It is sometimes graphic in content. If you read on, don’t write to yell at me.


Thunder With No Storm

If there was a point in time that was emblematic of this week was Thursday night. We were almost home when the sky lit up in a huge display of lightning. It was odd, because there were very few clouds in the sky. The bright moon and stars were visible in between those amazing flashes. Jon thought that there might be a storm raging over the ocean. The thunder was heard long after the lighting flashed, so it seemed that the storm was a ways off. The wind had picked up and it carried an ocean breeze that was mixed with the smell of rain. That seemed likely though none of the dopplergangers we watch mentioned any chance of a storm on the coast. We high tailed it home as we had no rain gear (heeding the advice of said dopplergangers), and the storm sounded like a big one. The rain never came. The next day we learned that the area had experienced a phenomenon called Dry Lightning. There was thunder and lightning but no storm.

That sums the week handily. We can hear and feel and smell and even taste the storm coming, but it’s not here quite yet. We sent out our multi-show pitch to the cable channel, including the series based on the Soldier’s novels, Blood Oath. Jon will be putting up the new pitches on the Dragoncor Web page later today. Some of my long time readers will be pleasantly surprised to see what the other two projects are. I can’t reveal where they were pitched or to whom. Hopefully, I will be able to before long, because they’ve said yes. Finishing that was a huge relief, because it takes a lot off of our very full plates. The focus can now shift completely to the upcoming feature. If the casting call comes out this week as plans, I can give actual details about that one. What prevents me from dishing on this shoot the way I did with The Gunslinger is that there are two other companies in partnership with us on this. We’re not free to talk until the film has turned up in a public forum like a casting call or the trade papers and web sites.

Anticipating a big storm is exhilarating and scary. I actually like thunderstorms, especially when I’m near the ocean. Judging from the amount of thunder, this film will be a lulu of an experience. We’re working on the development as much as we can with our regular schedule. Today, I’ll work out a rough shooting schedule based on the anticipated start date. That is important because it determines the actors’ pay rate. And we need that before the casting call goes out. It’s an immensely dull task. All this prep is exciting as it makes the film more real in my mind, but living on the edge like this is draining physically and emotionally. Let’s have the storm already!

The Longest Day

Well, it’s not the longest day we’ve ever had out here or the most stressful. That title still belongs to the last day of the Demon Under Glass shoot. It’s been six years, and I still get angry about that day. This past Friday was mostly annoying, because it was unnecessarily long. We received an edict from the landlord that we pile everything in our place in such a fashion that there is three feet of space from the wall or inspection and eradication. And we had to be out of the apartment by 8 am. Now, that sort of schedule works for 99 per cent of this building as they are all gone by 7:30 am (our bedroom window is next to the driveway). Jon and I get home after midnight and aren’t usually awake until 10am. Had the procedure been scheduled for the weekend, as it was last year, we could have gone to the movies and went grocery shopping to while away the time. As it was, we had to find somewhere to hang out until we went to work. Our partner got the honor of us sprawling on his sofa for several hours. The day began well and we got our best treat in some while. We had breakfast at this amazing French café near here. We hadn’t been there in months, but the owners remembered us. We had a delightful breakfast and bought sandwiches for lunch. The lovely owner gave us two free batards for being good customers. That somehow made the rest of the day bearable.

Hanging out with our partner was an interesting experience. He’s a talent manager by day, thus he spends a lot of time on the phone and PC. He can talk on a land line phone, a cell phone and IM simultaneously. We often didn’t know when he was actually talking to us. I don’t understand how he does that and still managed to work on the film’s cash flow projections. His pace made me dizzy. We actually did a quite bit of work on the film. After that interesting morning, we had a full day at the Archive, the long trudge home and an apartment piled high with all of our stuff to face. I am beyond tired today. However awful Friday was, the batards we simple delightful with a lift smear of butter.

Beware Ohio

If any of my readers encounter strange phenomena like seeing a live calf riding in the backseat of a convertible or a large, colorful Macaw on your lawn who greets you with ‘Hi Lucky’ or there are inordinate number of rare and unusual incidents with bears, I have the reason. Craig is in your state this week. He is there visiting the family of his lovely girlfriend. He’s in the north east part of the state and the phenomena tends to be localized to his proximity. If you should start to encounter any weirdness, flee the area or seek shelter.

I’ll put up an announcement when the web site additions go up.

Freaks, Fabio and Twists of 'Fate'

Warning: If you find yourself here via a google search for such things as TV shows or films, recipes or cities, this blog has some facts. However, this blog is one author’s very twisted musing on many weird things. It is sometimes graphic in content. If you read on, don’t write to yell at me.

This Blog is relatively short for reasons that will become apparent below. There is much brewing, so stay tuned.

Staycations vs World Travel

It’s been a beautiful week in LA, weather wise. It has been postcard perfect. Having a ‘staycation’ (geez, I hate made up news media buzz words) sounds like a wonderful idea. However, other countries have very strong currencies and think that the stretch of beach adjacent to our ‘hood is really keen. I was reminded that Venice Beach, CA is a world destination. I believe that the world went on vacation last week. Quite a few of them were on our bus home. Mostly, it was entertaining. I was particularly fond of the fellow who curtsied to our bus driver. The usually surly driver found it amusing as well. The only time we get annoyed is when they crowd the front of the bus for the relative safety of being near the driver. If they knew what we know about that cantankerous woman, they’d be sitting where we do – near the back door. The weekend commute was filled with wide-eyed visitors as well. I had to talk a group of slap-happy New Englanders out of walking from the edge of Culver City to Venice Beach. Everything looks close on a map, but almost nothing in LA is close to anything else. It wasn’t blazing hot out, but they’d be so wiped after that haul of a walk, they’d have nothing left to enjoy the Freak Show. Besides, there is a lot of entertainment to be had on the Culver City Bus number 1 on the weekend. That’s how the freaks get to the Freak Show. I enjoyed watching their horrified yet fascinated expressions before popping off for my errands. I admit that staying home during summer in LA has its advantages. I don’t know how many amazing, near naked men I saw jogging or cycling or skateboarding past. And they were all local lovelies.

Hitting a Wall

Last week wasn’t all fun and oogling. My schedule and deadlines finally put me down for a couple of days. I’m still really tired. As Always when I’m over taxed, I injured something. This time it’s the back and one knee. I spent Friday flat on my back with only enough brain power to ponder such things as how I found yet another Hawaii 5-0 that I’d never seen and why is that guy called The Green Hornet (there was a logical reason, turns out)? The Hawaii 5-0 episode was really bold. It had a upstanding citizen being blackmailed into killing someone to avoid being outted as a drag queen. Fortunately, we’ve fulfilled most of our current commitments. I get rid of a really big one today. I don’t plan to push as hard on the remaining tasks until we’ve got a shoot date. The idea of being carried about the set on a litter by oiled, muscular men really appeals to me, but it isn’t very practical. It’s best that I take care of myself a little better.

Writing Questions

I’ve had some interesting questions (and a bit of yelling) about the twist in ‘A Soldier’s Fate.’ I can’t speak about the specifics of the ending, but I can answer the question that came up most. No, I didn’t know that I would end the book the way I did at the time I started it. There were scenes that I had in my head from the time I finished ‘A Soldier’s Choice.’ Most of those ended up in the final version of the novel. I could see the whole border crossing sequence very clearly. I knew that I would have the work and personnel at the Foundation put a strain on their relationship. However, I also thought I spend more time in Bobby’s head. Rik and Vincent were having none of that. Staying with them and having to really develop the goings on at the Foundation was the better choice. That gave me the underpinnings for a third novel. I was also able to develop Rik and Vincent into something other than soldiers. While I wasn’t making the whole story up as I went along, I’ve learned that the fastest way for me to get writer’s block is trying to force characters to conform to a rigid outline. Of course, that does mean that some things have to be adjusted in the beginning of the story, but I believe in re-writes. That flexibility is essential in script writing as well. There is no such thing as a final draft script. Changes are made even after the last scenes are shot. Books aren’t that fluid, but work is done on them even after galleys are generated. I got to evaluate a galley for Fabio when I worked for him (don’t ask). They weren’t willing to take my suggestions. Granted, they involved lighter fluid and a bonfire, but I still think it was worth considering. Where was I? Oh, the other element of the book that I hadn’t planned and turned out to be my favorite thing to write, were the references to Rik’s and Vincent’s days in the squad and how those events were still impacting their present life.

The other questions were about more contests and giveaways for A Soldier’s Fate. I haven’t decided yet. I plan on some sort of giveaway. We’re working on a t-shirt through the very cool company that does our magnets and postcards. Right now, I can’t really think about anything but a nap. I’m off to take one. Then, I shall crack open Bourdain’s lovely and profane cookbook and give Cassoulet and onion soup a try.

New Title! Demonspawn: On the Run

It's finally here in print and available on amazon.com. The latest and often erotic adventures of Simon Molinar, the centuries old vampire and his reluctant companion, Dr. Joe McKay can be found here:

http://sybpress.com/titles.htm#OnTheRun

Find the links for the print and e-book versions.

Enjoy!

Quakes, Jerks and Yelling at Bourdain

Warning: If you find yourself here via a google search for such things as TV shows or films, recipes or cities, this blog has some facts. However, this blog is one author’s very twisted musing on many weird things. It is sometimes graphic in content. If you read on, don’t write to yell at me.

This is an odd blog, full of rantings at people I usually adore. The rants are justified and the admiration has not changed, so no snarky e-mails. One of my local weather dopplergangers has taken to doing a video blog, or vlog as he likes to keep reminding viewers. Jon asked if I would ever do one of those. He was being facetious. On Sundays, I make no efforts toward my appearance until very late in the day. I’m usually very, very tired and facing a long day of prep for the week. Did I mention that I’m very tired? It’s not a pretty picture. Best not to inflict it on the unsuspecting.

Not a Lot of Shaking Going On

LA had an earthquake this week. It was officially a 5.4. That’s a little stronger than mild, but nowhere near the Northridge quake in 1994. Not even remotely close. Still, the quake on July 29th could technically be called the biggest quake LA has had in years. However, just running that headline can cause problems for people on the east coast who aren’t given the perspective behind the headline – which was in bold type on the CNN headline ticker. And then when said relative, my nephew in this case, calls and the lines are jammed (with other relatives calling all at once) a freak out ensued. Jon and I were just finishing breakfast. The shaking was definitely noticeable and it lasted long enough for Jon to get queasy in the office chair. I had been wondering if the side to side swaying would shift to the more violent up and down tremor (that’s when you have to consider exiting the building) when it faded to a stop. It wasn’t strong enough to collapse our crappy bookshelves. So, I went back to packing lunch and Jon went back to working on a book cover. However, I had him send a mass e-mail to head off the worried relatives and friends.

And they were worried. My nephew got through an hour after he started calling. He was very upset and had called around to my father and brother to find out if they knew anything. After repeated assurances that CNN had jumped the gun a bit, I got him to call everyone back to let them know Jon and I were on our way to work as usual. Later that night, we saw a repeat of CNN’s coverage on Anderson Cooper’s 360. It was really scary and exciting and not remotely what had happened. I think they had to scour the county for some rubble and they didn’t find much. It was appalling. So appalling that an LA Times columnist, Joel Stein, had to an editorial that summed it up very nicely for me. Click on his name for the full and very amusing article, but here are my two favorite paragraphs:

Even the usually responsible Associated Press reported in its first paragraph that the quake "sent people running into the streets." Really? Running into the streets? Like in a "Godzilla" movie? How about "sent people walking onto the sidewalks so they could take a break from their jobs and talk about the earthquake, and then get coffee before going back inside to check some news websites until it was time to go home."

And

And please, CNN, next time there's an earthquake or a fire, give my family members who watch your network all day a little context. I just need Wolf Blitzer to say, "Although this is a very exciting development we'll be following closely for the next 48 hours, no one in L.A. is dead, injured or at all interested." Then maybe I can limit their news-related calls to how little my house is worth now.

Still, we really appreciated the concern from our wonderful relatives and friends. You should know (this means you, mom-in-law) that Jon and I actually have a earthquake plan. Despite the nonchalance of Angelinos, most do. We have an escape route to an open location that is free of structures and powerlines that is steps from our door. Coindicentally, it’s the same spot we have to flee to in escaping a tsunami. Aditionally, there is a police station, a large school, a community center and two churches within steps to get info and help. We have all the stuff in the survival manual that comes with everyone’s white pages. And finally, our building was being retro-fitted for earthquakes when we were moving in It even has the fancy, automatic gas valve shut-off to prevent fire. We’re all good. I even called my actor friends. They are all fine if a little derisive of all the coverage.

Hey Ant-ny!

I am now going to yell at Anthony Bourdain. Of course, I’m shocked that I feel compelled to, but it must be done. The Travel Channel often runs mini-marathons of its popular shows. That was how I actually began watching No Reservations. There were a punch running this week as part of their pre-Olympic China coverage. I taped those and an earleir episode that I didn’t remember seeing. It was his trip to LA. Two minutes into the show I’m annoyed, then infuriated. After lauding the ‘real Angelinos’ for toiling in jobs that have nothing to do with Show Biz, he hooks up with a writer he professes to admire, Jerry Stahl. He says that Stahl is a Hollywood writer but not really Hollywood. Excuse me? He writes for Bruckheimer’s number one show. CSI is as Hollywood as you get. Mind you, he wrote some of my favorite episodes of CSI and introduced my favorite character, classy Dominatrix Lady Heather) He also wrote for ALF, thirtysomething and Moonlighting. He has never not been Hollywood. I really, really can’t stand Jerry Stahl.

The one argument Craig and I ever had was over this man’s self-serving, sniveling autho-biography, Permanent Mindnight in which he basically blames his heroine addiction on the soul-killing environment of television writing. Soul killing? Is there a heretofore unknown slavery ring that forces unwilling writers to take five figure per week salaries at point of gun or threat of bullwhip? At the time I read that book, Craig and I were working for just above minimum wage retail jobs in the Entitlement Zone. Three quarters of the staff were drinking on the job or using other substances to keep from strangling customers. I couldn’t understand anyone admiring this man’s whining at not getting to follow his real passion. I know a lot of working Hollywood writers that find a way to publish or perform their poetry or make experimental films just to make them. They can afford to! Then, they made a movie about Stahl’s suffering soul. Thankfully, that version of Permanent Midnight was ignored in droves. Of late, he’s been charging aspiring writers $150 a half hour to get his advice on-line. A writer I know paid for it before talking to me. She was dismayed and very angry to have wasted that much money only to have him talk about his drug abusing days with wistful nostalgia and then deride the industry that he was supposedly helping her to join.

Stahl’s pick of a food joint for Anthony Bourdain was Roscoe’s, a chicken and waffle joint near Paramount Studios. Though Bourdain liked the atmosphere and the clientele, he wasn’t impressed with the chicken and waffles. Jon and I hadn’t been either. Incidentally, we’ve yet to find a soul food restaurant here that didn’t make us shrug in indifference. We’ve been to many like Aunt Kizzy’s Back Proch, which is literally in the nighborhood and Baby Blues which made it onto Food Network’s Diner’s Drive-Ins and Dives, but I find that the sides like collard greens or mac and cheese are too spicy or busy (too many extra ingredients). But back to Mr. Bourdain’s taste in Hollywood types. Hey Ant-ny, wake up. Recovery from addiction does not necessarily make a person stop being a self-absorbed jerk – just a clean self-abosorbed jerk. You re-connected with an old friend later in that same ep who deserved being admired for his recovery. And while I’m yelling at you. Not everyone drives in LA. That public transit you dismissed is jammed every day. And there are noble souls who toil in the industry and who live outside of East LA.

I still admire Mr. Bourdain and will continue watching No Reservations (I watched three more after the LA show that day). Sometimes you have to swat Jersey boys in the back of the head. I often do with Craig, but that's mainly for putting songs like The Night Chicago Died or Patches in my head.

I’m off to work on myriad writing projects. We have onther title going live on amazon.com this week. I’ve had some really good questions about writing pitches and some other things. I have to think about how to intelligently reply. As always, stay tuned.

Strange Days and Mutant Kittens

Warning: If you find yourself here via a google search for such things as TV shows or films, recipes or cities, this blog has some facts. However, this blog is one author’s very twisted musing on many weird things. It is sometimes graphic in content. If you read on, don’t write to yell at me.


Strange and Off-Putting

It’s been an odd week with an undercurrent of stress born of keen anticipation. It’s made all the more frustrating by not being free to talk about the underlying reasons for the stress. I don’t know if I ever will be. Even in this day of director commentaries and DVD extras, there are certain elements of a production that are never discussed with the public. They can become widely known in the industry, but never actually acknowledged. Kinda sucks, but what can you do? Right now, Jon and I are awaiting the green light on a really big film for us. We’re trying to get a re-write treatment finished before the official word. Once that word is given, the pressure will be extraordinary to produce a new script as a shoot in the fall in dependent on it. Thus, Jon and I hash over the new plot and characters during the commute to and from the Archive. Meanwhile, we have two titles due out for Sybaritic Press (in addition to A Soldier’s Fate). And then there are the pitches that came out of nowhere. Remarkably, those are almost finished. We should be sending them out by the week’s end. The real horror on that is if they are accepted. I’m not how we’d find to do them in a timely fashion with all that’s on our plates. Jon said that we may have to look at hiring writers. That’s a really odd and daunting thought for me. I’d been reluctant to hire a writer for the novelization of ‘The Gunslinger.’ But now I know that I’ll have to at some point.

Don’t get me wrong. With this green light, a lot of breathtaking, wonderful things happen for us. And I allow myself to think them from time to time and get extremely happy. But at heart, I can be as squirrelly as any of my beloved actors (incidentally, never call an actor for sympathy. All I got for the heartfelt call yesterday was ‘will you become a mogul already. I need to work.' Ah, friends.) One thing I am most wiggy about is traveling. I am infamous for my travel lists. For travel that involves months away from home, the lists are numerous and ponderous. However, it’s hard for me to truly prepared when I don’t know my travel dates – especially for the scouting trip. I understand that Jon and I may be in the air within a day of the go ahead being given. I can’t begin to describe how unpleasant a travel companion I am with that kind of notice. I need six hours to get properly smashed for the flight. Yes, it really is prudent that I’m smashed before a flight. Otherwise, I get very anxious and opening the cabin door becomes a good idea. When one of my actor friends went with us to Cannes, He was really alarmed at how much I imbibed before the 16-hour flight. Then, he was amazed that I was stone, cold sober by the time we landed. Where was I? Poor Jon. Fear not, I think all the anxiety will be overridden by all the fabulous things this shoot will bring.


Craig Again
Among those fabulous things will be working with Craig once again. He’s marvelous at keeping my on an even keel on set, but he is invaluable in dealing with New Jersey. He’s got a lot of connections. And most of them do not operate out of places like Bada Bing. The governor of New Jersey decided that the Garden State did not need a film commission. Though one can make films without ever contacting a state’s film commission (we’ve yet to use the one here), it’s helpful when a company is from out of state to get guidance for permits, security and such. Craig had some calls made. He informed me that there will be a film commission at our disposal upon arrival. It hadn’t been reinstated, mind you, but someone will be there to ‘get us all you need.’ I think his name is Al. I don’t want to ask. As long as the set runs smoothly, I’m a happy woman. Craig also made me happy by regaling me with a tale of Anthony Bourdain. Seems that he did a signing at Book Soup while Craig worked there. He was not looking forward to another celebrity chef being fawned over by the wealthy denizens of the Entitlement Zone. But the first thing Tony did after the gushing introduction was tear into the LA restaurant scene for it’s emphasis on the hip and famous instead of the food and the restaurant patrons for the attention span of a gnat. A bunch of people left. Craig said he felt like applauding. The rest of the talk reminded him more of Hunter S. Thompson than Wolgang Puck. Craig was impressed, and that is hard to do. He was as impressed as I was that Bourdain visited Saudi Arabia, a country where alcoholic beverages are forbidden, and had a great time. One last thing about Craig. He hasn’t run into anymore one-legged crickets, but he managed to come across five kittens that had eight toes on each paw (is toe the right term for a cat?). He had cell phone photos. The kittens looked like their paws were drawn by a cartoonist. They were huge, and they were adorable. Luckily, his animal loving Ohio girl wasn’t with him, or he’d have custody of at least one.

Soldier’s Fate Print Debut

I was elated to receive the proof from the distributor. The book turned out beautifully. And I’m very pleased to find that it is already selling well. The support and great patience of my readers is gratifying. I think you’ll find it was worth the wait. Meanwhile, I am almost finished the backstory of the characters for the web site. The cookbook is almost finished as well. I’m cooking a lot today despite the heat. I find that I need the soothing aromas for my jangled nerves. It’s helpful to do something that is familiar and comforting. I can now comfortably write up recipes having done them over and over with the results I expect. Yes, there were a number of times that the results were quite unexpected though not terrifying. But I digress. It was great fun hanging out with Rik and Vincent. I’m really pleased that this pitch has kept me working in their world. I have very strong ideas about the third book, but work on that won’t begin for some time to come.

Meanwhile, I am off to make more food and hang out on my sofa. There will be more refining of my many lists. Maybe I can set up a suitcase complete with a flagon of booze to go for a quick departure without making Jon crazy. Who am I kidding? I’m going to drive him crazy.

A Soldier's Fate Print Version Now Live

It's available on Amazon.com. To find the link fast, got to: http://soldierschoice.com .

My apologies for the extreme delay. It was my brilliant idea to change distributors with this title wihouth knowing what the learning curve would be for submissions. The result is fabulous though it took a while.

Enjoy!

On No, Mobsters and Rampaging Elephants

Warning: If you find yourself here via a google search for such things as TV shows or films, recipes or cities, this blog has some facts. However, this blog is one author’s very twisted musing on many weird things. It is sometimes graphic in content. If you read on, don’t write to yell at me.


Amusing Chefs
That is, I managed to amuse the chefs who work for Jamie Oliver. Those of you who read last week’s blog know of my misadventures with a mutant blob of pizza dough. Late one night while still punchy from lack of sleep, I sent a note to Mr. Oliver via his website about how I enjoyed the wacky experience and the pizzas it produced. They kindly responded with some advice to avoid having dough that grows exponentially. I then sent them the photo of the dough in question. They found it quite hilarious. I always enjoy it when my cooking brings happiness – even if it’s just hearty laughter.


Avoiding the Word No
Jon and I were told this about casting actors. You look for reasons to say no in order to quickly pare down the number of submissions. These are not random choices. They are obvious: too short, too tall, too young, too old, wrong body type, wrong ethnic type, etc. That way you aren’t seeing hundreds of people for one role. You’re just seeing dozens. That can make for a really long day, believe me. At any rate, the same applies for pitching novels or scripts. The initial reader is always looking for a reason to say no. For written materials, like novels, it’s a longer process. In General, one can’t just glance at a page and toss it aside. It’s happened, but usually, a few pages have to be read to make a decision. The initial no is usually because the material doesn’t fit the publishing company (Sybaritic Press does not do young adult stories, especially no young adult erotic, but we get a lot of submissions for it). If the query letter is bad (poorly written or too pushy or too pleading), I’ll say no without reading the material. Experience has taught us that bad query letters equate to a bad experience with a potential author. With scripts, the cover letter can kill a pitch as well. Beyond that, sending the wrong type of script to a producer gets nowhere fast (Jerry Bruckheimer is not likely to read a drawing room farce) and it is pointless to send the Sci- Fi Channel a historical romance unless one of the couple is an alien or a vampire (preferably both). Sounds logical, but it happens all the time. Some writers will not only send the wrong material to a producer or network, they will argue that these are the kind of scripts that they should be producing. Boy, that would make me want to spend lots of money and time working with that writer. HA!

Beyond avoiding the initial no, there are other reasons to reject a pitch. Most come down to money. How expensive will it be? Can it find an audience to make back the cost plus a profit. In the case of a TV series, does it have a large enough, sustainable audience to make a profit? For a long time, Jon and I had problems getting past the second hurdle in a pitch. We didn’t know enough about the practical aspect of making films to convincingly speak about costs. It wasn’t until after we’d made Demon Under Glass that I learned how to schedule and budget a film based solely on a script. Making a film and developing the many project we have started since then has taught us a lot about what things really cost. We’ve worked with professionals who know how to creatively keep costs down and maintain the right production values on screen. But even that may not be enough. When making a pitch, it helps to know what kind of money a producer has spent on similar projects. It is most prudent to be very close to that same budget. That’s never easy. Budget info is still really hard to come by despite pay services like imdbpro. Casting directors often know budgets because they need to know what they can offer talent. We cultivated a great relationship with a casting director who often advises us. A lot of research is done before writing the pitch. Then, you have to find the right words to get them to schedule a second meeting.

This has been what I’ve been up to for a couple of weeks while Jon re-writes a romantic comedy that’s up for funding. I’m keeping notes on that process that I’ll share in a blog when I’m allowed to discuss it. That’s called ‘How to Avoid Throttling the Director.’

I’ve finished the Onesheet for Blood Oath (the Soldiers live action pitch). I’m very happy to have the support of a gay publisher of Yaoi in the US. Hopefully, he will bolster our contention that there is a niche of avid fans out there for this sort of show. I’ll post the text for the onesheet and the treatment later today. The artwork is still in the works.



My Life in Film and The Godfather
Warning: Seemingly pointless rambling mixed in with necessary ramblings to follow.

I’m not saying that my life is literally like being involved with mobsters. Though I’ve had glancing relationships through various friends connected to associates. Of course, Craig would be one of them. My favorite work conversations with him invariably involved mobsters. There’s nothing like a co-worker’s expression when they hear: You should never ask why he’s called Thumbs, because he’ll show you the whole collection of them. Or They whacked their own Don without permission when they found out he was gay. They thought the Gambinos would kill them all. Incidentally, that New Jersey Family is widely believed to be the basis for the Sopranos. Puts a whole new spin on Tony, eh? I’ve had my own strange conversations with friends over mobsters. Such sentences as No, Gideon, not everyone was a bagman in high school. And to his father: You took Skinny Joey Merlino and his friends to Fellini films? Seems, he was trying to teach them some culture.

No, it’s not literal involvement with mobsters -- just that some of the conversations I’ve had about mounting films remind me of a particular scene from The Godfather (if you have never seen it, you should. If you have, watch it again). The scene is when Michael Corelone is talking to his father in the vegetable garden. Vito (Marlon Brando) explains that after his death, a trusted friend will come to Michael with an important meeting. At the meeting, he will be assassinated. It’s said in a very casual tone. Our favorite film advisors often speaks to us in such terms when outlining all the possible disasters that will befall us on any given film. He’s never said that we’d be assassinated, but given that he has said things like but the Burmese army took a detour to find the runaway monks, so it all worked out, or when you get a rampaging elephant, make sure to get a second unit on it for footage, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. The current list of potential disasters makes me wonder anew at the theory that working in the field you love is joyful stress. Meanwhile, one of my production partners keeps saying, after we begin development, I’ll settle a lot of relationships. Of course, what I hear is: After the baptism, I’ll settle all family business. That makes a person with my twisted imagination very careful to stay on his good side.

I must get back to work. There are a lot of beautiful, naked men to look at on screen. Hey, it really is work. I have to check out the shows on our pitch network. Jon and our partner have pointedly told me they weren’t interested. Sigh. It’s all up to me.

Stay tuned. A whole lot of things are influx. I should be able to talk about them soon.

Bastille Day, Mutant Dough and Rattlesnakes

Warning: If you find yourself here via a google search for such things as TV shows or films, recipes or cities, this blog has some facts. However, this blog is one author’s very twisted musing on many weird things. It is sometimes graphic in content. If you read on, don’t write to yell at me.


Holi-daze - Bastille Day Edition

On July 14th, the French will celebrate Fête Nationale or Bastille Day. I hope my lovely French friends have a great time. I’ll be raising a glass of wine in their honor. I know, I know, again with the France thing. My obsession is completely justified. Aside from the country’s support and aid in our own revolution (Forget us Lord, lest we forget the sacred sword of Lafayette) They are a sublimely civilized country. I found a recent example in the following imdb.com article:

French Labour Laws Force Ratner's Movie Set Back To LA

30 June 2008 9:07 AM, PDT From wenn.com See recent WENN news
Hollywood moviemaker Brett Ratner ran into trouble when directing his blockbuster film Rush Hour 3 - because the French government enforced strict labour laws which made filming nearly impossible.
Ratner chose to shoot the third installment of the action franchise starring Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan in Paris with hopes of adding to the movie's "fish out of water comedy".
But the French's leisurely approach to the working week soon forced the director to relocate the film set back to Los Angeles.
Ratner says, "We could only shoot eight hours a day because it was the law - the thirty hour work week in France. No overtime. It doesn't matter if you offer them triple overtime, they will not work more.
"So it's eight hour days and two hour lunches and wine service during lunch. Every crew member, in their contract, has a right to drink wine. So they have an open bottle of wine and they bring you an appetizer, a main course and then a dessert - service. It's not like you go get your own food and you sit down. So basically I'm getting six hours a day shooting.
"So we decided we've got to go back to LA and build an extended (set of Paris)."

Frankly, I saw nothing wrong in those labor laws. And as for being unable to get his pages done, I fault the director. The Bourne Identity seemed to do very well shooting in Paris, and that’s with some completely insane car chases. We certainly plan to find a reason to shoot there as soon as humanly possible. Meanwhile, have a great holiday, mes amis!

The Dough That Ate My Fridge

I’m still experimenting with making my own dough. The baguette recipe remains intimidating, so I thought I’d try pizza dough. I’ve been terrible dissatisfied with pizza since visiting Cannes. No, that’s not as weird as it sounds. That part of France was once part of Italy. There are still a lot of Italians there. I had the fortune or misfortune of having real Pizza Margherita. Don’t get me wrong. There are pizza’s here that I enjoy. I worked in Manhattan for a year and there are great pizzas there. And in Philly, Jon and I like this very non-traditional Greek Pizza made by Hispanic guys at Germantown Style Pizza. It’s particularly good when eaten with a luridly red colored soda called Tahitian Treat. But I digress. I really loved the Pizza I had in Cannes and have made several attempts to reproduce it with store bought pizza shells. The results were satisfactory at best. A couple of weeks ago, I saw Jamie Oliver make pizza on his new show, Jamie at Home. It looked really easy, so I gave it a try. The recipe called for only one rising for the dough to double in size. Then, it could be refrigerated until use. I did everything in the recipe, then I wrapped the dough in plastic and put it in a gallon sized bag in a bowl. An hour later, I looked in the fridge to find the dough was about to burst my bag and envelope the top shelf of the fridge. Even after I divided it into four sections, they grew in the bags. It had nothing but dough on my top shelf until I could pre-bake the shells to freeze. It was a tasty pizza cannibal, but oy, do I have a lot of pizza shells.

Turning My Husband On

No, it’s not at all what you’re thinking. Jon is now complaining about the headline, as it is not truth in advertising. It’s a whole lot geekier than that. And it involves A Soldier’s Choice, which does absolutely nothing for Jon. I’m working on the pitch for the live action version. I mentioned that we wanted to use Manga-style images for the opening and linking scenes. I also wanted to use them in the written presentation. That meant, doing two or three pages of comic action and having some images of Rik and Vincent for the letterhead, etc. I put a call out of manga artists for this very modes job. The bids I received for the work averaged $650 per page. The total would have cost us the same amount of money we spent on the live trailer for The Gunslinger. I plan to do a trailer for A Soldier’s Choice, but only after I get some expressed interest from the network. We’re not adverse to investing where necessary, but I was not putting that kind of money into such a small job. So, to the amazement of my hubby, I bought a sketch-pad and downloaded some reference material. I asked him to find me a software that could generate the manga panels and fx I needed, then started sketching. He got so excited over a page of eyeballs I’d done, that I thought he’d keel over. He started pulling out all of his favorite anime reference books to show me that I was creating model sheets and that’s how the animators worked. I didn’t know that. I was just practicing, because it’s been a while. I considered drawing as a creative path for a long time. I even drew a lot of comics as a teen and young adult. Ultimately, writing had a much stronger pull for me. Still, I can still work with a pencil and these softwares can make anyone look really good. And it allows my Hubby to let his anime geek out. That works all around. I’ll post the work along with the expositional material on the Soldier’s Choice website.

Conversations with Craig – Outdoor Edition

Craig took his girlfriend on a walk through Solstice Canyon in Malibu over the holiday. It was the first weekend it was open since last year’s brush fires. During the hike, they met an exuberant, young Native American volunteer ranger at the cultural center there. “Have you ever seen a live rattle snake up close?” She asked. Of course, Craig had seen many of them. His favorite hiking spot is Rattlesnake Canyon (he wonders why I steadfastly refused to go hiking with him). His girlfriend replied that the only ones she’d seen with Craig were angry ones (another reason I don’t hike with him). That snake was asleep having eaten a large meal earlier, so everyone could examine him closely. Though I cannot fathom why. Craig on hikes can be such harrowing affairs that his father bought and insisted he carry a GPS locator. If there is weird weather, dead bodies, plane crashes in a remote area, Craig finds it. I was very surprised that he hadn’t found Moe, the missing Chimpanzee. The Volunteer Rangers also identified what kind of cricket was likely to have been living in their bookcase. She was certain it was dead by now.

Apple Pie, Strikes and Andy Rooney

Warning: If you find yourself here via a google search for such things as TV shows or films, recipes or cities, this blog has some facts. However, this blog is one author’s very twisted musing on many weird things. It is sometimes graphic in content. If you read on, don’t write to yell at me.


First off, thanks for all the inquiries as to our health and safety. The national coverage of the fires seldom lets viewers know where the major cities are in relation to the various blazes. LA is hundreds of miles from the Goleta and Big Sur fires. LA County is having fires in the Santa Clarita area and in Malibu again. These are much smaller than the blazes last year. They haven’t impacted our air quality yet. So, we’re okay right now.

Holi-daze Patriotism Edition

Happy Canada Day to my Canadian readers! And for those for which it applies, Happy 400th anniversary to Quebec City. The celebrations looked grand, indeed. Quebec City’s special day was even celebrated throughout France. Well done! I have some very dear friends in Canada and some very fond memories of my visits there. I’m very fond of their actor-boys as well. Though I’ve often talked about the talent on Battlestar Galactica, but I also highly recommend taking a look at DaVinci’s Inquest, a very fine police drama that is now syndicated throughout the US markets as well as in the UK, Ireland and Australia. Jon finds it has some of the most natural dialogued he’d ever heard in a TV show. I’m inclined to agree. It also had a very wicked sense of humor (one of my favorite titles was ‘Ass Covering Day’). The performances are first rate. And if you ever get the opportunity, Visit Canada. Toronto is hip and eclectic, and Vancouver is breathtakingly beautiful with amazing food and vistas. The people are friendly and helpful, to boot.

We had a quiet 4th of July. I made an apple pie and we ate hot dogs. Alas, we had no guns, so we couldn’t celebrate the way Stephen Colbert would. Jon and I were watching the local news that day. There were a lot of trivia questions about the holiday. Several of them were about the Liberty Bell. I know there are many Philadelphians who stay away from Independence Mall (Philadelphians generally aren’t fond of tourists), but Jon and I had heard the speech about the bell dozens of times over the years. During one of my numerous jobs in Philly, I was trained by Federal Park Rangers on the sites in the Mall, so I could help guide visitors. Some of those talks are quite moving, and I remember many of them to this day. Anyway, after the final trivia question on the Bell, my ever-sentimental husband pointed out that the Liberty Bell would not be a good symbol for Quality Assurance (the current crack isn’t the first one and it hasn’t been rung in a very, very long time). While I found that remark appalling, his observation after the trivia question on The Star Spangled Banner was almost disturbing. It seems that our national anthem is filking to a British drinking song. All one can say to that is: U-S-A! U-S-A! Actually, our friends find us surprisingly patriotic. I made an apple pie. But those tales are for another blog.

The next Holidaze-Patriot Edition will be about Bastille Day. Stay Tuned.

A Strike that’s not a Strike

I’ve also received inquiries about The Gunslinger and the Screen Actors Guild (SAG). Since no strike was declared on July 1st, many of the e-mails reasoned that we should be able to proceed with our plans. Not exactly. There has been no strike vote taken (I’ve been told by someone on SAG’s board that they don’t have enough votes to get an authorization passed). However, there also hasn’t been an extension of the current contract. That means that actors aren’t bound to keep working and could walk out at any time. That has made movie studios reluctant to start films. Insurance companies won’t underwrite them out of concern over a walk-out. Stopping a film after cameras roll is hideously expensive – even to a major studio. Work will slowly grind to a complete halt save for smaller indie productions. It seems to have affected some TV episodics as well. At least, they aren’t having as many Breakdowns or casting calls as there should be for the TV season. It’s actually a fraction of what it should be right now. So, there is no actual strike right now, but there is very little actual work going on. No one is sure how long this state of affairs will last.

Distilled Prose

I’ve been working on my pitches for A Soldier’s Choice and some other projects. In trying to distill the lengthy and involved back-story for our heroes world and their pasts, I’ve had to first write said back-story. From the full version, I have to do a 3 or 4 paragraph version to go on a one-sheet version, it’s a glossy flier with text and images on one or both sides along with contact info. That must be further distilled into a tag line (one line that encompasses the entire concept). It’s also called a high concept pitch. The most famous high concept pitch was MTV Cops for Miami Vice. Attention spans for studio execs are short probably because they are doing the Hydra thing to the extreme. I’ve never seen people who could carry on so many conversations at once and keep track as these execs do. The pitch must be short, succinct and compelling in a few seconds. Since I’ve done all of this work, I’ve decided to put the back-story up on the Soldier’s Choice Web page. Maybe someone will kindly add it to Wikipedia at some point. I’ll put up the one-sheet as well once it’s ready. It should be really neat with the Manga style artwork.

He’s Back!

Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations returns tomorrow, July 7th on The Travel Channel with some very exciting places on the schedule. If you love food and enjoy funny, biting, sardonic, insightful commentary and a real, ground level glimpse of a far flung place, watch his man. He’s infectious, I tell you. He had Samantha Brown cursing in her new show Passport to Great Weekends. To quote, dear, retiring, almost staid Samantha Brown said ‘You’ve never seen Anthony Bourdain spinning his ass in a champagne glass.’ She was dancing with The Pussycat Dolls at the time. Shocking, I tell you. So, watch Anthony. He may get you to do something wild as well.

And Now, Andy Rooney

Yes, I’m channeling Andy Rooney. I have to complain about Chipotle peppers and Ciabatta bread. Now, I like both products a great deal and use them frequently. But I’m really tired of food chains replacing them with their normal fare. I can’t get extra crispy chicken at KFC unless it is Chipolte Extra Crispy chicken. And Jack in the Box has replaced most of its burger buns with Ciabatta Bread. Sometimes, I want a regular hamburger bun, for Pete’s sake. This trend is as annoying as the sun dried tomatoes and pesto in the 90s. Geez. Okay, I’m done. Now. I’m off to make a hamburger on a regular bun.

Big Updates and Bizarre Conversations

Warning: If you find yourself here via a google search for such things as TV shows or films, recipes or cities, this blog has some facts. However, this blog is one author’s very twisted musing on many weird things. It is sometimes graphic in content. If you read on, don’t write to yell at me.


I hardly know where to begin. It has been a wild week full of exciting highs and lows and some really strange conversations. This week hasn’t been a matter of wearing a lot of hats. I’m not doing half a dozen different tasks, I’m juggling a lot of writing projects with their supporting documentation at the same time. It’s more like being a Hydra, and I’m just as cranky at times.

The Gunslinger and Hidden Passions Update

The jitters over the possibility of a Screen Actors Guild strike or walk out has impacted every level of the industry here. My partner’s actor clients have largely bugged out of the city to visit family. This is the beginning of the TV season, shooting wise. One doesn’t take off at this time typically. Big budget films have been stalled awaiting the outcome of the negotiations. And, now it’s impacted us. The Gunslinger backers want to wait until we know what will be happening with the Guild. We can’t really blame them. On the up side, I really wasn’t looking forward to working in triple digit heat. And I got the same feeling from our cast. I’ll make an announcement when we have a firm date. But don’t despair, and keep checking this page. The Hidden Passion cast will turn up in a feature by us soon. So stay tuned.

Meanwhile, I’ve been asked about the film based on The Gift of Surrender. I am working on that as well. I’ve just finished re-reading the novel in preparation of writing the script. The film version presents a number of problems that we need to solve involving locations and Special FX. I know what scenes I absolutely have to have in the film. Now, we have to figure out if there are reasonably priced solutions to those issues in LA or would we have to film in Europe where there are real castles to be had. We’ll still do a trailer between now and the fall. Stay tuned for that as well.

Soldier’s Update

The print version of A Soldier’s Fate is in limbo for a little while longer. Sybaritic Press has changed distributors and it has not gone as smoothly as I’d like. But it is proceeding. It should be live on Amazon.com soon. Meanwhile, I’ve been working on the pitch for Blood Oath, the live action version of the Soldier’s novels. I decided on Blood Oath, because that’s essential what they do when they become soldiers and that they become what they are because of their blood. The books have a whole lot of action that requires wire work and Special FX. We know that the series will not have the budget to go all out. But there are solutions that will look cool and credible and use elements of the origins of the books – Manga and Anime. Rik and Vincent have a whole lot of backstory before the beginning of Soldier’s Choice that has to be covered in a show for it to make sense. We decided to take a cue from the Spiderman films and use comic-ized versions of our leads in a Manga style page to tell their origin stories. We really liked how this technique was used in The Full Metal Alchemist to tell the storylines of all the main characters in 52 episodes in a minute and 45 second. We’ll likely use this style for closing credits and linking action scenes with the drama. We also want a very funky soundtrack like those used in anime series. I got to see Matt Ferraro, our Vincent Greven, this weekend. Jon noticed that he really is built like and anime character, slender and sleekly muscular. I wish my photos could show his big beautiful eyes. He’s looking forward to the part and I’m looking forward to seeing him in it. We will be meeting an actor who has the look I want for Rik Heron. Stay tuned.

The Big Film Update

The full budget feature film is moving along. We seem to have submitted all the documents correctly. We’re awaiting word on when a countdown to pre-production will begin. That’s been unnerving. Most of what we’re working on would have to be put on the back burner in favor of doing a re-write of the original script. We haven’t worked on it since the first draft was finished six years ago. And before anything can be finalized cast-wise, we need a new version. We also have to plan for a film related travel that we have no firm dates for departure. All of this upheaval and suspense makes being a Hydra difficult. I’m investing a lot of energy and time into development of these other projects, it will be a lurch to stop abruptly and focus solely on the script. I’m close to finishing the pitches for the TV shows, so I will do that meeting. We can’t ignore the opportunity. But all of this head switching is making us very tired. And yes, we still have the day jobs. Still, this is a very exciting undertaking. Despite the roller coaster, we’re jazzed about the prospect.

Conversations

These are some snippets of conversations that are biz related or friend related. I spent an afternoon with a bunch of actors yesterday and had long chats with my more colorful friends. Please note, that having these conversations does not mean that I approve of any of the behavior.

“No I don’t have any lifeguard shifts this summer. The Y frowns on thrusting kids out of the pool onto concrete from below while rescuing them.”

“Yeah, hookers don’t like when you want to examine their mouths with a flashlight, but if they want that ten bucks, they deal with it.”

“But why do you have a Captain Cook costume?”

“I’m getting the yearly physicals, but it’s mainly for STDs. Hate them though. They always want to shove something up my colon.”

“I have a check filled out for the county court with orders to just fill in the bail amount. Not that I’m expecting any problems.”

“Yeah, we’ll need a line item in the budget for graft, but I got a guy with connections in case of real problems.”

“Don’t worry, the part makes sure that he’ll be shirtless.”

“I don’t think it’s possible to Photoshop just David Duchovney’s ass in that show.”

“They should send assassins after Michael Bay’s hateful dogs.”

“And that’s when I found out that Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs and I were doing the same chick.”

I’m exhausted. Up next week, I’m having a gathering of the Border’s Third Street Promenade posse. There may be clips of Conversations with Craig.

Book Announcement and a Favor

Book Announcement

This mid-week blog is to announce the newest of the Demon Under Glass inspired fiction. It's Demonspawn: On the Run. It is now available as an e-Book at:

http://www.tradebit.com/filedetail.php/3181794-Documents-eBooks-eBooks

There are some fabulous stories by authors from Two countries. I have one there as well which is a reprint from Demonpawn 2: More Tales from Demon Under Glass. The print version will be available soon.

A Favor

I'm trying to choose a title for the live action version of the Soldier's books. Jon made a face when I suggested Mutant Soldiers in Love. I'm leaning toward Blood Oath. However, I'm open to suggestions. Please write here or e-mail me privately here.

The tagline will be: Killing is in their blood. Is there room for love?